Unadultered Whimses

The Sacrifices

2008-02-05T23:28:00.000Z

My birthday was a blast. Can’t really remember much, and I just feel a lot of friction writing all the events down especially since I already told so many people in other forms. Needless to say I went to Halo and got absolutely wasted and wandered home singing army songs and having a very drunken conversation with my girfriend. Nick Wong staying in my room was comical to say the least. We’d make great housemates but I think I’d probably end up killing him if I have to sleep in the same room with him for more than a week. Especially if that room is no bigger than a shoe-box.

I said something really terrible and I’ve hurt her feelings so very much. I probably should have thought things through before I said anything, because looking back and thinking, I’m sure that we could have reached a compromise that both of us would be willing to accept. All I can say to her is that I’m committed to the long term, that I will not leave her if she has to pursue her dreams. No I’m sure there’s a way both of us can bring our dreams into harmony. I wish she would forget what I said and I could replace them with something smarter and more sensible... I’ll just have to wait for the dawn to see how these things transpire.

Work is starting to even out from the hellish week I had last. I’ve got most of my schedule sorted so that I can concentrate on my essay and my normal work and probably squeeze in revision time in between.

5 weeks and 5 days before I come home. Before I get to hold my sweetheart and look her in the eye and say those messages that cannot be communicated by sounds or words; the type found within the deep recesses of the eyes, within each beat of the heart, within each wrinkle on the face. The language that transcends all boundaries, all misunderstandings, all worries and all doubts.

Lent is upon us and I don’t know what to give up. Last year I tried to do the fasting routine but my body died after 20 days. I think I’ll go back to a daily decade of the rosary, and to learn to forgive and forget. I have to learn to not judge other people, and instead accept them for whatever good they have inside of them. I guess that will be my mission. Maybe I should also try to stop arguing with my mom. Though I think that’s quite a horrible thing to give up since I don’t really enjoy it that much in the first place.

Oh I wish she’ll know that I’m always there for her...

Anberlin - Inevitable

Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, hey, it's not over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time

I wanna be your last, first everything

On The Tethering Pole

2007-11-18T21:54:00.000Z

As I stood there on the dance floor, the house music blasting its way, the trannies on leg poles grooving overhead, the absinthe losing its hypnotic effect (not in the morning though, hooboy, that thing melts whatever was inside your stomach I can tell you that!), I stood there and watched as she chatted away to someone else. I felt abused for some strange reason, that I was only there for the whim and beckoning, but I know that ain't true. I knew our friendship was more than that. I think our friendship is more than that. I hope our friendship is more than that. We do always see, to want more and more, a feeling that we are needed and necessary to feed our fragile little egos, to make us feel funnier, wittier, invunerable. To tell us that we have muddled up other individuals lives so much with our stains that we will forever be ingrained in their minds. Have I forgotten how to be altruistic? To go out of my way just because I should, to make time for others even when I have barely any time for myself? Do onto others what you want others to do onto you. Why does it feel as if its missing a clause ...

So here I stand (on a totally unrelated subject)(actually everything is related, but this one is not connected by causality) on a tethering point and I don't know how I feel about it. Who do I trust? Which part of me is speaking the truth? Only time will tell, when I start the journey anew. I've been searching for it for so long, that maybe I don't realize just what love is anymore. Perhaps it was always where my heart left it.

Does that feeling really die?

I just weighed myself and quite happily I've hit my target weight again. Things are starting to look up since that last entry. Maybe I'm on a karma kameleon!

Staring Into Space

2007-11-15T23:16:00.000Z

It's just one of those days that grinds you into the ground. Just a sudden flick of a switch inside my head and I spiraled into a state of depravity, depriving me of a good evenings worth of work time spent watching Harold and Kumar to bring me slightly out of that state. I don't know what's wrong with me. Probably the accumulation of so many different frustrations, all put together. It just leaves me so angry and so sad, that I just want to bash my head against the walls and then disappear in some small hole away from everything and everyone. It's a feeling like a double edge sword, that if I get close to anyone they will just hurt me and if I draw myself away, I'll still be cut in the process.

Things will hopefully look up. Tomorrow is the opening of the german market. Time to get german beer and sausages and almonds amongst other great delights. Going home soon to MCR, Bangkok Trip and a large amount of time with my best friends whom I've really missed.

So here we stand at the cusp of adulthood. Nothing but responsibility ahead, nothing but goodtimes long past, and nothing but sadness at the moment.

Transcending, transcending, trainspotting.

Remember Me

2007-11-11T22:27:00.000Z

My laptop's backlight decided to die on me so I won't be able to online for the next 14 days at least! So pissed! =( hopefully my iPhone and whoever is in near me will suffice to get me through my studies and living. Perhaps it's time to hit those land books and get a grasp of what the hell is happening in class.

Today is Remembrance Sunday, so I dedicate this post to Aaron Kok, who was taken away from us way too early. My prayers will always be with you...

New Blog

2007-08-29T11:23:00.000+01:00

Yes, once again I am switching blogs I might return to this blog if I get too frustrated with iWeb, but for now, my blog can be found at

http://www.unadulteredwhimses.co.nr

For those who use RSS, I recommend that you go to

http://web.mac.com/nneubronner/Unadultered_Whimses/Blog/Blog.html

As you can see, I've done a simple redirection for the new site, but yeah, that link is easier to give to people that the nice and long one given by Apple®. In anycase, hope you enjoy it. I'll set up the comments part later, and if you want to leave a message, the chat window can be found on the first page. In anycase, explore and enjoy!

Some Teasers

2007-08-27T18:05:00.000+01:00

Well I got my harddisk upgrade! 250gb of space now baby! But I still haven't gotten my software, which means for now, I'll just tease you with a photo of each of the places that I visited. Truthfully though, by the time you read this, most of the photos may have been uploaded already. Still, enjoy!

Milan

Assisi

Florence

Vatican City

RomeThe Vatican Museum

Venice

bon appetito!

Ich Komme Nach Weitern

2007-08-26T08:22:00.000+01:00

Yup, after an exhaustive day flight, I'm back in Singapore! I can't upload the pictures and tell the tales I have to tell yet due to my overwhelming lack of hard disk space. Hopefully that will be fixed tomorrow when I effectively double it to 200GB. That should allow me continue using this laptop for the next 2years at least.

Till then, for some strange reason Italy has got me hooked on Mika's - Relax, Take It Easy. Yes, I'm still strangely addicted to the Sounds, despite their overall lack of actual musical capabilities. I'm planning to expand my horizon of girl bands though. Perhaps venturing into some Rilo Kiley, Paramore and some others I have been eyeing. What bands would you guys recommend? I need to kick this euro-pop habit.

When In Rome

2007-08-18T15:00:00.000+01:00

I've been in Italy for almost a whole week now, with another week to go. This place is truly something else... Its hard for me to describe it all now on this blackberry. I'll do a full write-up later when I finally get back home. But for a quick update, I've been to Milan, Florence, Assisi and Rome to date and Assisi is definitely one of the most impressive, bringing you back in time to the 13th Century. Yes I've eaten more than my fair share of pizza and pasta and my skin is horribly burnt by the Roman sun.

After 3768 pictures taken, my less than a year old camera has sadly developed its first ding. I'm nonplussed about it. I hate seeing dents on anything I consider nearly brand new (I don't mind if it happens after 2yrs, since that means I'll probably change it within a year). Oh well, at least it still does it's job superbly, and the 2nd most important part, the screen, is still in near perfect condition. At least I know I've certainly matured. I feel sad, but I don't feel any pangs to replace it with a new one like I would have when I was younger. I think my poor iPod bears testament to that...

I've also learnt the true value of a PDA phone or a Blackberry. Surfing the net on this thing has been a lifesaver; I blame Facebook for the incessant need to come online every few hours.

I'm passing by the plains of northern Italy right now on my way to Venice. Such a change of pace from the mountainous and rugged expanses of Umbria. I'll see you all real soon!

Italia

2007-08-08T02:59:00.000+01:00

I'm off to Italy in 14hours! We'll be staying in Assisi; hopefully I might find divine inspiration and become a Franciscan monk (we're staying a stones throw away from the monastery). It should be beautiful, except for the weather.

New iMacs, iWorks and iLife on sale, not to mention that the .Mac accounts now come with 10GB of online space! Time to put all that allowance to good use... Hopefully I'll finally be able to convince my mom to switch to the new iMac. If I do get the new software though, this could mark the last few waning days of my use of blogger, as I'd rather switch to an iWeb template that gives me greater customization without the burden of sifting through tons of html to get what I want (yes I know that's not a problem for SOME of you).

Bon voyage!

Like That Lor

2007-08-02T07:28:00.000+01:00

My mom constantly berates me when I'm on the phone talking to my friends. Everytime a single "lah" or "not" or "meh" is uttered, a shrill cry precipitates from her mouth to interupt my conversation with whomever is on the other end. Slightly hypocritical, I do the exact same thing to her when she lets out her occasional singlish words. What then is so bad about speaking singlish? I frankly find that she does this because she wants to maintain some type of strict bourgeois feeling in the air around her, as if singlish will magically corrupt my ability so converse in english (and not the hodge-podge ameri-sino accent she does). Frankly speaking, I find it daft when she continuously tries to converse with someone who can't understand whatever she is saying because of their lack of grasp in the intricacies of this germanic language; she knows mandarin and chinese, surely she can get her message across in a tenth the time if she spoke any of those two languages. It's true as well when you meet your friends and they suddenly put on an american twang; it is just downright irritating.

The sad reality is this. We're a fractured society held together by the harsh glue that is Singapore's penal law. Race, religion, and now the burgeoning class differences, all tussling against each other, held together by very few things. One of those things that can bridge that gap is singlish. Singlish, in all its vulgar beauty, Singlish that wonderful creole that noone but Singaporeans understand, our own language, created in this melting pot. I think everyone that vehemently hates it has to step back and look at the big picture, that English as you heard it back in the 1980s, is not the same English you hear now. Moos Ah Speeek Look A Bloooodee Brooomie T'ye? or 'Ay Uwp Mate, Wun t'Go t'Pewb? And lets not even get started on the "Bastion of English" that is London, which is starting to become a little Yugoslavia at its current rate. Everywhere in England you get regional dialects, some of which are hardly discernable to the people living next to them, let alone foreigners. The thing is, their government isn't stopping them; infact, the media is promoting them, bringing more and more local dialects onto tv to spread diversity.

Similarly, singlish should not be so vehemently persecuted, but instead, be left alone to co-exist with proper english. What we need to do is to teach our children the same way we teach them in chinese - we promote one standard english format, while at the same time letting singlish; our english dialect, flourish as well. We should cut the crass act and accept our culture. Perhaps we'll finally get rid of our pretentious nature if we can finally gelek gelek in peace.

I'm feeling extremely agitated and angry. That feeling is boiling in me again, but I can't talk about it; which makes it even worse, since it'll start another blog war. Ugh.

No I did not buy for Ning an LV bag. I can't believe you all think that I am THAT gullible.

Jeder Mann ist ein Insel

I Had Something To Post But I Decided To Write A Meaningless Title Just Like Fall Out Buy

2007-07-26T15:18:00.000+01:00

These Weird Girls Will Be My Undoing

2007-07-24T14:55:00.000+01:00

For some inexplicable reason I always end up disarmed whenever I hear Sarah's girly voice chirping at the other end of the telephone. Each and every single time I speak to her is like meeting her all over again; her bright voice like a new person in my life, strangely captivating, strangely invigorating. I never experience this with anybody else. Sherrie's voice is unmistakable, and I usually can tell the difference between Mel and Nat, but Sarah's voice just evades me. Like a mirage, everytime she talks I have to wonder whether this is really her, as if the person I know in real life is totally different from this digitised avatar. Perhaps there's something deep rooted in me that affects me so, perhaps it was that dream, that plants too many absurd ideas into my ever blossoming imagination, and forces me to keep a false barrier around her, building her up in my mind like a pack of cards, easily toppled by the slightest whisper in my direction.

Perhaps over time as I forgot how to talk to her, I forgot how to listen to her.

The new pic of Joyce on her blog as well, belies a subtle difference to her old self. The eyes seem more slanted, the eyes slightly off-center, the face definitely more narrow than before. It was as if I was staring at a Van Gogh, it was sullenly abstract, yet all so forceful. I couldn't see happiness or complacency or any of her previous traits; replaced by something sinister, a sly, foxy look that is so unbecoming. What tragic tale that belies, only few know.

Hey Yin, if you are reading this, did Therese go Down Under yet? Did you go down and make she is alright and make sure that r*tard is canneh?

7 Days More of Work! Yay!!

Dream of Kittens (No Lollipops)

2007-07-18T02:04:00.000+01:00

I hate getting up straight after having a dream. It's the worst feeling in the world; your mind is utterly drained and your body just refuses to move. In anycase I heard a meowing sound from underneath my bed. Moving to the edge, I peered under and saw to my amazement several kittens. They seemed to be vaguely frightened of me, but I still proceeded to pick them up. Strangely enough, they weren't real kittens, but stuffed ones that mimicked Steiff bears, with their mohair and their joints. They still tried to claw at me though. It's been over 2 years since I held a kitten in my hand, petted or played with one; we used to have some stray in our camp. They are always so small and so in dire need of protection; so strange when they grow up we hate them for wandering into our houses or moaning deep into the night whilst in heat. Still I digress, why can't I just have ordinary dreams?

I think I have a deep psychological barrier to the idea of gaining weight. Perhaps well earned from the dark ages of my life, but I have always heralded my losing of weight as the turning point in my studies and social life, such that I dare not let myself slip into that hindrance of obesity again. I eat quite a bit more than I did back when I first started the downward spiral all those years ago, proof that perhaps it was some sort of inner metabolism thing that finally turned itself on, but it's still no excuse to indulge in the sin of greed. What I'm trying to say is that, I know I have a complex, but my past flirts with obesity means that it is something that I am not willing to overcome, because I do not ever want to be that monstrosity I was ever again.

I'm feeling mighty transient these days.

The Sounds are awesome. Imagine a eurotrash version of Cansei De Ser Sexy, but with real guitars, swedish trance synths and real singing. You get the idea. Far more consistent in their rythmns, they exude a far less arty feeling than CSS, which might put off some people who are more into flash and looks, but overall, I reckon the Sounds are the stronger band. I miss Muse, I'd give an arm and a leg to see them again, this time taking my chances and wandering into the hell hole known as the Standing area. Or perhaps I just want to go to Leeds-Reading. Sadly I'm staying here way past that event.

Travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody is looking for something

Something Only We Know

2007-07-12T13:34:00.000+01:00

It's such an aimless time, doing research each day from 9 till 6, going home, spending sometime listening to music, going to sleep, ad nauseum, that I'm really dying to go back to Leeds. I miss being there; I miss the food, the atmosphere, the people, everything! I've been back for a month now and there's nothing really exciting to do, no new friends to meet, no new places to visit, heck even going clubbing is such a chore. I'm more stressed just breathing this Singapore air than when I'm cramming in the middle of my hole in Ellerslie Hall. Perhaps I'm really just a slob; all I want to do is go shopping, and eating, and perhaps the occasional jog and still be alive enough for a decent nightlife. Perhaps a change of pace is in order, a week of doing what all the other interns are doing (filing affadavits, conveyancing) will set me straight, but right now... *sings random Nelly Furtado song*

This aimlessness seems also centrifugal around the other aspect that I lusted for so earnestly for so long. Perhaps I have come across the stunning realisation that these are the fun years of my life, and I should be squandering them away on frivolities, instead of anchoring myself to the concrete of false hopes. Perhaps the saddest and scariest part of it all is that I'm starting to be able to see where my evil twin is coming from, and perhaps, I'm starting to agree with some of it.

Stars - Reunion

in the year of my decline
sucking freezies in the rain
driving twisted in the suburbs
and then driving back again
seventeen and half alive
headlights illuminate the school
inhale the powder from the science class, yeah nearly dying felt so cool
your face is all that hasnt changed
youre reassembled just like me
but when i reach to touch your hand
you stroke mine gently

all i want is one more chance to be young and wild and free
all i want is one more chance to show you,
you were right for me
you were right for me

im back in gym and its the same
as my name tag floats away
i had 6 too many drinks last night yes
and thats why i made you stay
plus i always wanted you
you liked to rock it in your car
you said you didnt understand me
because i always tried to see too far
well Tainted Love's too fast to dance to
so lets leave them all behind
they hated us with everything they had
and we hated them in kind

all i want is one more chance
to be young and wild and free
all i want is one more chance to show you,
you were right for me
reunion, reunion..reunion, reunion...

I'm even starting to believe Yin when she says that she was never really right for me...

Leave While There's Still Hope

2007-07-10T15:22:00.000+01:00

I don't know how I did it but I must say that it's rather impressive; at least Holly thinks it is. Still, it can't ever happen, I'm at the stage in my life where I'm neither here nor there, the toils of work draining me of any grandoise plan I would like to enact. It's totally wrong as well, so I guess that's that.

On a subject I can be more direct on, thanks to Sherrie for revealing herself to be the graffiti artist. I feel really honoured to know that you were the one inscribing my name at the Applecentre. mmmhmmm

Nothing much else to blog on I guess... oh well... the days are long and boring...

Post-Mortem

2007-07-07T17:11:00.000+01:00

I've been busy with my first week as an intern. I think I share the view of every other proper university student (those that go to uni after 10am and for only 8hrs of lectures each week) in that after 4 days working a 9-5.30 job, I am absolutely knackered, and drained of every last ounce of enthusiasm and uplifting spirit in my body. What can be so boring, tedious, and horribly hard at the same time other than law? I had more fun working as a mechanic in the army; where I didn't have a computer or air con, than I am over here! Urgh, still have another 4 weeks left... This only makes me remember why everyone says I should be out enjoying my University life. If this is just a taste of things to come, I should really take their advice to heart.

Still, inspite of my ramblings, I have indeed learned quite a bit. I've done research on the Penal Code, been to the Registrar Chambers, and done quite a bit of work. The cases are indeed quite exciting, from the strange to the sad. It was a good idea to work in a small firm, as I do get thrown a bit of everything. Now that they know I have access to Lexis-Nexis and Westlaw, I'm sure I'll be used a whole lot more.

I can imagine that by the time I'm actually working in a stable job over there, I'll have at least 30 people to eat lunch with in that region. lol.

You ain't a gentleman until you can tie your own bowtie. Seriously, learning it for the first time took goddamn ages, and when it finally hits you that all you are doing is faux knot, you gawff at how much time you wasted, but the end result, when done correctly, is indeed quite fetching.

Wearing a three-piece ain't really as bad as you would make it out to be, just so long as you keep within a well air-conditioned building, you can survive. Sadly, M Hotel was not a well air-conditioned building, and by the end of the night, nearly everyone was complaining about how hot it was.
The funny part is that apparently noone recognised Millie and presumed she was my girlfriend. LOL. Don't really mind actually, since she is really cute. The meal was standard chinese fare, can't really complain as long as I have at least 2 bowls of sharks fin soup (I know, I'm killing the earth).

Oh, and yes, someone did think that I worked there, asking me whether they could smoke inside the lobby.

So when I stared at her during our dinner, I couldn't help but wonder if her kiss could ever be as passionate as it was in that dream. Stupid dreams. Speaking of dreams, I've been so knackered over the past week, I've hardly had any dreams. *sigh* I miss my weird and controversial dreams....

Ask me to order a Singapore Sling. Apparently it makes Therese break out in raccour as I say it in a british slang. mmmhmmm

Unexpected Tales

2007-06-26T19:01:00.000+01:00

So I went to Epicentre at Wheelock Place to get my iPod and my iTunes looked at; my iPod headphone jack is a whee bit dodgy and my iTunes never lets me log onto the store. So there I was, at the counter as he was looking through, and I looked down and started reading the graffiti that was scrawled all over the counter and I caught this.

For those that can't read it it says:

Nic
Neub
ronner
is
cute !

Nic Neubronner is cute!

Oh my goodness... do I have a secret admirer or something? Who would write that! It's surely a girls handwriting; too cursive to be a guys, and it's got that funny weird smiley caricature of me. It also has to be me because there is only one Nic Neubronner; there are no Nicole Neubronners or other Nic(k)s in Singapore. Such a weird trepidation, what does all this mean? I wonder who it could be; issit a joke or is it real? So many questions....

Just had an adventure with Geraldine as well; going for a little drive with her to Tampines and back and having a late night snack at her local hawker center. She's quite fun to be with, bubbly and talkative; though my parents were quite cross at me driving so late. Oh well.

So now I wonder what all this means, what all these beckon. From my weird ass dream to that graffiti... One summer mystery after another!

Magic Key

2007-06-25T15:53:00.000+01:00

Words can hardly describe how fantastic this week has been. Muse, Charlie in Singapore, my Summer Party... so much has happened and so much has been done; it's impossible for me to write everything down in this blog. I've had the most memorable week of my life, even topping Freshers Week. Seriously... wow. Well... where should I start...

Saturday, 16th of June, the sky lay ominous, and slight drizzle drowned the heart as Sophie and I made our way to Wembley Stadium. A light drizzle passed, and then, the skies held as we beheld an architectural marvel - Wembley Stadium, and the hundreds of thousands of individuals slowly winding their way towards the most hotly anticipated gig in UK, Muse at Wembley. We bought ourselves band t-shirts, got in smoothly enough into the stadium; and sat and watched the crowds continuously pour in for four hours until it reached maximum capacity; 110,000 people packed to see the greatest live band; and possibly the best UK band alive now. Rodrigo Y Gabriela warmed up the crowd with some of the most amazing spanish guitar available; DPT were lackluster, and The Streets somehow got the crowd really riled up, but nothing could compare to Muse. The pyrotechnics, the flying acrobats, the incredible performance and showmanship! Everything was so well put together, so well planned, that for the first time, I wanted more; I wanted more and more and more from then even if it meant I had to sleep at Wembley Stadium. Unbelievable. It's being made into a DVD and I can proudly say, "I was there".

It got better though; the concert ended early; but way too late; exactly half an hour after my last train had left! Unable to go back, I had to bunk at Sophie's hotel; which after getting lost and being sent to the middle of London, had to take a cab to; costing us over 80 quid in total! Reaching there at 2am, we fell asleep; getting only 5hours of sleep before having to leave again... this time to Singapore!

From Raffles Hotel to Sentosa, from Botanical Gardens to Night Safari, we did everything, ate everything. Such a blast, and so hot and so tired by the end of each night; but the last few nights. Oh... they were of a totally different magnitude.

The Party was a complete success~! Good food, good drinks, good music and really really fantastic company. Everyone was grooving and getting to know each other. Learning how to play poker, winning my first round of mahjong after 8months not playing it, Nick Wong and his punch and his chatting up every girl that was within a 10m radius. Great times. The next day was just as good, with a night out at MOS to mark the last night in Singapore for Charlie, with awesome music in the retro room!

So now as I try to settle into a more normal pace of life, I'm left with many thoughts to clear. A really weird dream has troubled my soul and I'm hesitant about next week. So much to do and so little time! Yet I will not forget this week, the week that marked the end of my first year in University. What a marvelous year I've had so far, so many ups and downs. Time to start my second year!

Chat With Charlie

2007-06-14T20:22:00.000+01:00

Am now at Charlie's, staying with her till Sunday, when we fly back home!

Cambridge is surreal. It seems less like a University and more like a castle. The admission fees for each College does not help at all. We decided against wasting our money roaming around a campus which was full of muggers (it's still exam time) and decided to go punting instead!

It isn't really the easiest thing in the world; it sometimes get's confusing knowing which side to move the pole resulting in the punt turning in the wrong direction, but it was fun and tiring.

Hahahahaaha, rockin' the boat! Proudly brought to you by me and Blogger in draft.

Back To Where The Heart Belongs

2007-06-13T10:17:00.000+01:00

2 hours.... I'll miss this place.

Top Ten Things I Did This Year

2007-06-10T23:43:00.000+01:00

While it ended in Charlie flopping around and needing to be dragged home by three people, we had a memorable time talking about all that had happened in the year that passed. We started a countdown on all the crazy shit that we have done this year. It made me reminisce on the myriad of events that have occurred ever since I stepped foot in this country, this type of lifestyle that I would never ever dream of having if I was in Singapore under the steely eyed gaze of my mom. So without further ado, here are my top 10 events.

10. Actually Living in The UK
Come on, you have to give me credit. Moving 7 time zones and 20,000 miles away is no easy feat. Moving all my crap, not knowing a single person other than Nat and Mel when I first came here. Straight from army as well, where I was a terrible wreck of a human being; unapproachable and unsocial. I had to overcome a huge barrier inside me that kept on prodding me, asking me to chicken out, but no, I stuck to and tried my best to live life for the first time after 12years of brain-numbing, spirit-destroying Singapore education and military systems. It paid of I gather, I've made hundreds of new friends, and plenty that I will hold dear forever in my heart. I'm more sociable, more inebriated and more liberated. I'm living la dolce vita.

9. Clubbing With Yin
Nicklaus Wong will back me up on this. It is an EXPERIENCE clubbing with Yin. Not the clubbing itself, that gets rather dull after the 20th RnB song, but the after where we end up holding back Yin's hair as she goes for another bender. Yup.... experience.

8. Muffins with Jean and Therese
"The ovens not working!". What an adventure. Bringing our half mixed crap all the way from Jean's place to my own. Laughing and baking muffins the whole night. Then after that eating each others' muffins and trying to make our relatives eat them! They tasted so funky for some reason, even though we kept on going about how great they were! Unforgettable.

7. Leicester and Back
Such a strike to the heart. And yet it's still beating.

6. Evolution!!!
The countless times I went there with my housemates, law-mates and such. Where else in the world where you would find a thousand people pulling shapes to S Club 7 and then breaking it down to Fedder Le Grande? Absolute mint. The time we dressed up as punks, headbanging our way through some classic cheese, or the time near halloween where they had people on stilts and fire eaters. Evolution was the ultimate Saturday student night out.

5. Law Socials
Where I met everyone. The first social where I met my best friends; Charlie and Rachel, and from each subsequent one expanding that list exponentially; Sarah (though we both still do not remember just HOW we met), Lizzie, Amanda, Stacie, the Lozatron, Angharad, the list goes on and on and on! From doing moots to shots to stressing each other out, these great bunch of people were always there for me.

4. Aunt Ruth and Uncle Bob
Where I found myself. Peered into the deep dark murky pit of Neubronner history, I learnt everything I needed to know about being me from her and from myself in my 4 day self-exile. Without her, I doubt I'd have understood my sheer futility, my want, my humanity.

3. Gigs
4 Gigs to date, with tons more in the barrel. It IS a dream come true. Seeing all my favourite bands live; getting lost in the energy of the crowd; what was a dream in Singapore has become an everyday occurrence over here. Not to mention I'm finally hanging around the crowd that has the same music taste as me; a charming british affair.

2. Prague and My Birthday Week
The most beautiful place on earth. It felt as if you stepped back a century into the past as you idled down the streets, over the bridge and into the castle. Such a romantic place, such an idyllic city. You never ever forget Prague after setting foot in it. But it would have to be countenanced by my birthday, 7 whole days of partying; an Otley Run, and an actual dinner. Getting all my friends together, making them happy; and bursting. Nick arsing around my house that whole week. Drinking to Black Hawk Down, making people believe that we were twins. Man oh man oh man. Brilliant. Absolutely world class.

1. Edinburgh
Dressing up as Fred and Wilma. Getting looked at all night, partying with so many people, chanting Flinstones songs over and over again. The blonde babe, the Singaporeans, the Apple Sourz, the actual city, the castle, the shitty university union, the *ahem* place, those 3 days and 2 nights in Edinburgh was absolute mint and will go down in the anals as one of the greatest events of my entire life.

So there it is, my top 10 events of this year. What were yours?

p.s Some things that sadly did not make the grade were - Freshers Ball, Getting locked outside my house and having to spend a night in Ruth's room, Scarborough Trip. These all were utterly fantastic, but just could not be squeezed onto a top 10 chart.

East Anglia

2007-06-08T15:54:00.001+01:00

The land of the Normans, Fish and Chips and the British Pensioner. I've spent 5 days with my Great Aunt and Uncle at Norwich. Went to Great Yarmouth on the second day and went to the greatest place on earth... Merryvale Model Village!!

As you can see, I've gotten quite tanned in this sumer sun! As you can see, everything is miniaturised !

I have plenty more but those should be enough. I wasted about 1.5hrs inside there, looking at the minatures and taking photographs. Best use of my £4.50 I could ever imagine!

The next day we went to Norwich and had a gander at the local market and the castle. It was kinda like York, only smaller and filled with a ton more pensioners. It didn't really do it for me; guess I still prefer Leeds.

One thing I really could not help was the feeling of hour geriatric the place was. It was swarming with people in their 60s and 70s, and leading to the city was a whole street lined with funeral services! You can't escape the feeling that this is where the british choose to retire before their eventual passing on.

Thursday was a no show because Hunstanton was a ghost town. Apparently it was still not open yet for summer. Oh well.

9 more days till I'm home!

Quiz Night

2007-06-04T23:50:00.000+01:00

MOUTHOLOGY ♥

What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch

What is your favorite fast food restaurant? KFC

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Tony Romas

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? Tenth to a Quarter of what I paid

What food could you eat every day and not get sick of it? Choco Digestives

What are your pizza toppings of choice? pepperoni, minced beef, mushrooms and donner

What do you like to put on your toast? peanut butter

What is your favorite type of gum? watermelon

TECHNOLOGY ♥

Number of contacts in your cell phone? 194

Number of contacts in your email address book? too many to even think about

What is your wallpaper on your computer? A pic of Salzburg I took

How many televisions are in your house?4 at home, 1 in my halls

BIOLOGY ♥

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Leftie

Do you like your smile? Yes

What's your best feature? Nobody told me yet

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? nope

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? sight, yes I'm four eyed, but I tend to notice the little details.

When was the last time you had a cavity? never

What is the heaviest item you lifted last? A box with all my law books. Was hell.

BULLCRAPOLOGY ♥

If you could, would you wanna know the day you were going to die? Yes

if u could change your first name, what would you change it to? Helmut. No I'm joking; I dunno.... Lucas?

What color do you think looks best on you? It changes all the time, peach for now.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Only bitten, never swallowed.

Have you ever saved someone's life? I like to think I did.

Has someone ever saved yours? Probably

DAREOLOGY ♥

Would you walk naked down a public street for $100,000? I'd probably do it for £100.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Yes

Would you cut off one of your little fingers for $200,000? No

Would you never blog again for $50,000? Yes

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Change that to quid and we'll start talking

!Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Yeah

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? No

DUMBOLOGY ♥

What is in your left pocket? Nothing

Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Yup

Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? both

Do you sit or stand in the shower? omg that's freaky, today was the first day in my entire life that I saw a stool in the shower!

Could you live with roommates? seeing as how I am doing that now. Yup

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 2

Where were you born? Thompson Medical Clinic

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Never

What do you want to be when you grow up? A successful lawyer with a trophy wife of course! LOL

LASTOLOGY ♥

Last friend you talked to in person? Natalie

Last person you called? Sarah

Person you hugged? Natalie

Person you messaged? Amanda

Person you watched a movie with? Charlie

Person who made you laugh? Aunt Ruth

Person who went shoping with? Jeremy

FAVORITOLOGY ♥

Number? 3

Colour? Purple

Season? Spring

CURRENTOLOGY ♥

Missing someone? yes

Mood? my ass is falling asleep

Listening to? CSS

Watching? Top Gear

Worrying about? someone important

RANDOMOLOGY ♥

First place you went this morning? the bathroom

What can you not wait to do? Muse at Wembley!

What's the last movie you saw? Starship Troopers on Sky Movies

Do you smile often? Yup

Are you a friendly person? Depends, some find me too quiet, some find me too talkative. SOme find me approachable, some find me reproachable.

Now that the survey's done what are you going to do?continue with actual blogging.

I don't even know why I did that. I'm just so bored I guess. Sky TV rocks, I've watched two of my fave movies and 2 of my fave shows in the past 3 to 4 hours. For all those not in the know. I'm in Norwich right now, at my aunt's place, enjoying the good life. I've got everything settled back in Leeds. I'm attending Muse with Sophie; after Mike suddenly had to bail on me and she jumped right in because apparently, she was intending to ask me if I still had the tix free but Mike had already jumped the gun. Will take pics tomorrow. For now adieu.

p.s KT Tunstall at LUU on 28th October. All interested either tag me or send me a msg. cheers

It Hath Arrived!

2007-06-02T01:48:00.001+01:00

It didn't look like my mom's postcards from Shanghai... what could it be?!
YES YES YES OMG OMG OMG
WOOHOO!

Mike has agreed to go with me for the concert as well. Everything is worked out now! Fantastic! Summer Holidays here I come!!

A Long Time Ago

2007-06-01T00:14:00.000+01:00

'nuff said

Shopping Day One

2007-05-30T18:22:00.001+01:00

I wonder why Happy Hippos don't really look happy. Then again, if I were a Happy Hippo and I knew where I was to end up, I wouldn't be too happy myself. They make me happy though; eating them that is.

So I went shopping today and I bought three new tees for the summer! There were some polos I was interested in but I might wait for the Great Singapore Sale for those. It's amazing how british fashion has warped me. I don't see tees as just the end all now. They must look good with my current blazer AS WELL as my future blazers which I imagine I'll be getting real soon. I need more belts as well, just can't seem to find any nice ones. I was refused the PRPS jeans though, much to my sadness. Oh well, I'll get them someday; probably when I'm earning my own money.

I'm bored, I think I visited all the major outlets, all I have left to get are those Firetrap slippers. Maybe I'll visit Debenhams tomorrow. Damn, I got bored fast... then again, I had to leave the house early today to help Caroline in her dissertation. Oh well.

Apparently I'm hated as well. mmhmm. I've got my own set of problems to deal with anyway, the only person who knows so far is Holly. Fair deal I gather, since I can twist her arm to tell me anything nowadays. Sadly, no one called me when I was in desperate need of it; just what it says, I don't want to speculate. 18 Days till I return. The days countdown.

I really have to get round to calling Aunt Ruth.

Are You Going...

2007-05-28T21:05:00.000+01:00

To Scarborough Fair! Charlie and I made a trip to Scarborough today, after braving a sudden hail storm and waiting like fools for the free city bus even though it doesn't run on public holidays; for the uninformed today is another bank holiday.

It took us over 15 minutes to walk to the train station, 15 minutes in the horrible rain, ending up completely soaked. It was well worth it though, as we were soon on our voyage!
We've heard so many great things about the fish and chips at Scarborough, and unable to make out just which Fish n Chips store to patronise, we decided to go for the one that said "Famous" on it. The Fish n Chips served here was indeed large, good and cheap! For £4.50 we had a feast replete with drinks.

Voila, the magnificent visage of Scarborough, with its multitude of yachts, boats and dinghies. Like Brighton and Great Yarmouth, it was very quaint; a totally different atmosphere to that of Leeds.

As you can see, the weather was quite peachy over there, but not very warm. I made one of the most sensible decisions of my life by deciding to wear two layers.

It was very very windy indeed. Poor Charlie's hair curled back due to the rain earlier.

They had real donkeys on the beach for little girls to ride.

THE KERMIT ROCKET!!!

One final picture of Scarborough.

We wasted so much loose change on stupid UFO Catchers and penny slots. We had a whale of a time, and were pretty exhausted by the end of it all. I would definitely not want to study anywhere near here; I'd just spend all my time playing penny slots and filling my room with stuffed animals.

The waiting continues

I Just Need...

2007-05-28T00:12:00.001+01:00

Someone to call me... please...

p.s at an hour I'm actually awake. Thanks.

Le Mystère Joyeux

2007-05-26T20:33:00.000+01:00

How emo are you?
Holy Shit Your Emo Holy shit you actually are emo! Congratulations on not being a poser.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

yeah I kinda knew it. It would probably explain why I woke up this morning with a sudden anxiety attack and an urge to weep for no particular reason. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I have absolutely no stress whatsoever and I get this type of weird feelings. Luckily it wasn't one of the premonitions about something bad happening to a loved one...

Perhaps it is all coming as one fell swoop. These sudden mood swings. After 3 weeks of suppressing them to work on the more pressing matter of actually getting my act together for the exams, I've returned to such a state of digress and stagnation that the only thing left in me is to let my emotions hold sway and let it float through the proverbial wind, untethered. There's a lot of tension and angst hidden in me somewhere that needs a good scream to let out and not just another fag or beer to suppress. I can just imagine myself at the age of 35, lying on Jillian's sofa suffering from a nervous breakdown I don't have; a hypochondriac who believes everyone is out to kill him, just like Yossarian. ~ Brownie points to anyone that can guess what book I am referring to~

That's not to say that I'm spending my days in the doldrums bemoaning my fate, far from it, I'm making leaps, bounds, orbits of adventures to and there and nowhere. Went to the Royal Armouries today with Claire and we had a blast! The place was quite amazing!

Me with a Vickers! It's like a dream come true! Only thing missing was proper kickback. Also, I did not fully understand the proper way to squeeze the trigger, which was not on the handles but on a "pedal" right infront of your teeth, which only makes perfect sense if you believe all the old pictures of teethless Dubliners if you get my drift.

It was like half of my dream come true, holding a real Lee-Enfield in my hand. It was not as heavy as I had imagined it would be, and they jammed the bolt so you could not operate it, but still, what a beauty to actually hold and aim through.

An Arms Wall. Nicely done, stretching up 5 stories.
Claire is voting for peace!A reenactment of the battle of Pavla
Some equestrians and pikemen, the pikeman's pike stretches up to the ceiling (that means it was over 2 stories tall)
Artistic shot no.1
Artistic Shot no.2 (I have a clearer shot but I already uploaded this one)Me and Claire almost got fooled! (not). Seriously, you'd have to be the greatest idiot (or french) to fall for this camouflage.
Claire acting all posh in the posh hunting lodge.
(insert Heman line)
(invoke Celtic goddess)
A good days job!

So I woke up feeling sad and felt rather happy by the end of the day. What a rollercoaster! To end this off, I'll post some sexy song, courtesy of Natalie.

Hey Jack It's Me

2007-05-24T00:12:00.000+01:00

Melancholy broods

Spotted Spice

2007-05-22T23:12:00.000+01:00

That being the price I paid for this pair of Nike shox. Apparently they are an exclusive collection in Footlocker. The price? 90 Squid. Yes you've heard my right, a fuckin' arm and a leg for these shoes. Mind you they do fit well, and are quite alright to play footie in as well as strut down Orchard Road. So I guess it works out alright in the end, seeing as how I usually change trainers every 5yrs nowadays. Then again, this IS a Nike product, which means it'll fall apart in 5 months time. I'm so screwed.

Anyway yes, I did finally get down to some working out today, with a game of football with Jeremy. Apparently I can still kick a ball with some amount of decency, though my dribbling wasn't the most stellar thing in the world. What was bad was the gigantic outbreak of heat rash I developed as my body tried to sweat in this dry climate. My body is just so alien to me nowadays.

I want to play squash

Smeared Black Ink

2007-05-21T00:06:00.000+01:00

6 months of university, 1 whole work year, completed. 9 months ago I came to this island, very excited, very apprehensive; once again thrust into an environment I was not fully adjusted to. In the beginning I worried night and day, whether I was doing the right course, whether I was making the right decision in coming to the UK. As I sat through my first lectures, and prepared my first seminars, my fears weren't allayed at all, building up rather till the point of near total vexation, but somehow, everything worked out. I made hundreds of new friends, I partied like there was no tomorrow, and I studied as if I was sitting my A levels all over again. Along the way I learnt how to smooth talk, learnt that life is too short not to love, developed eczema, did some really stupid things, did some even more stupid things, and generally lived my life as if I was given a second lease of life.

So I look back at my first year and wonder whether I had chosen the right course. Whether I am now living the life I had expected to be living in the UK. For all intents and purposes, it is. My life has been a rollercoaster, with more ups and downs than the Yorkshire Moors, and my life as such has not had a single dull moment. I've learnt more in my past 9 months than I have in my past 3 years. Whether it's worth a quarter mil though, that's a different question for another time.

So I finally got round to buying an amp for my guitar and am proceeding to annoy the hell out of everyone. For the gearheads reading this, I got a vintage Marshall Lead 12; has the fat marshall tone oozing out of it. It's such a pleasure to finally hear my Big Muff Pi and OS-2 working.

Battle Royale, if it has a flaw, is the amount of names that are thrown at you. Luckily in the end you only care about two, as the rest are just killed off too fervently to really care.

I need to do laundry.

Operation Vegetate

2007-05-18T23:19:00.000+01:00

Irony is a constant theme in my life, like those results I got.

So, I've recovered from my massive hangover that I had this morning due to my celebration of my unshackling from the bonds of year 1 law! Yes, I am a free man! 4 months of holidays; this liberation so sudden, so tangible that we just sat there in shock for awhile, unable to comprehend the fact that we really can go about doing anything we want for the next 120 odd days. So focused were we on our tests for the past 4 weeks that we had hardly forgotten what it meant to live a normal life, a life without studies. Incredible, this candy, so sweet, yet so alien. Soon we'll remember how to fully enjoy this sweet nectar.

Sometimes you forget just how pretty Leeds looks when you have your head stuck under a book.

This is one part of the main shopping district, the Victoria Quarter and Harvey Nichols holding all of the posher stuff in the city.I found this really cute.

It started today with part 1 of Operation Vegetate™. We went shopping and I got myself 3 DVDs, and a computer game that should tie me down for one week or so. After which I might pay a visit to some relatives or something to that extent. I've got tons of novels to catch up on, music to critique and life to live. I've also got an article to write for Lexi Loci, as well as planning to do for the Summer Party®. Time to put it all to good use.

After I save the world from the NOD and the Scrin.

P.S. Champagne sucks in the morning. Never mix Champagne with Tequila, Beer and Smirnoff Ice. You'll just get a massive headache in the morning.

Into Oblivion

2007-05-16T22:32:00.000+01:00

I skipped this, and instead spent those 4hrs instead studying about the wonderful sex lives of Britain's finest, and what happens? The exam never even asked a question on them. How neat.

Still the paper was not that bad. I spotted the questions properly, so I got exactly what I wanted, though my hand was not that happy after those 2 hours of fervent writing.

I shall make it up though, the Fray and the Decemberists during Year 2! Not to mention Muse in exactly one months time! Psyched!

Holidays start after 3pm tomorrow! Time to live out freshers week all over again!

That Wasn't So Good

2007-05-15T09:28:00.000+01:00

Woke up realising that I got one whole part of a question wrong. It was a case of self-induced frustration. The irony....

The Scorn

2007-05-14T23:02:00.000+01:00

It's a particularly weird feeling when you encounter someone that does not like you even though they know nothing about you. Common sense tells you to just ignore the person, to not stoop to his level, but there's such a strong innate feeling inside you, some type of caveman that tells you you have something to protect, even when there's nothing at all. It's a beautiful case for a libel action if any, but yeah, no stooping. What did I do to attract such scorn? I don't really know, but then I'm never one to circumvent controversy.

Is that a sign of maturity then? If it were to happen less than a year ago, I might have gone full out and started a nuclear holocaust. I would have dug up old memories and slapped then in the face with them, rub salt into those open wounds he so clearly still licks to ease the pain. But I am here now, and have put myself through so much, and have learnt so much, that it's just not worth it, not for him anyway. Let him live his life holding this wretched, meaningless grudge, my world is a rainbow, I shouldn't let him muddy the colours.

Why the hell am I even still going onto forums anyway?

Contract was fair enough. It could have been so much worse, but it could also have been so much better. I went in knowing my cases, and they all just slipped my mind like quicksand the instant I turned over the question booklet. Just two more to go and then I'm free! Free to roam around the isles until my Muse concert and then, Singapore, my home, where so many events are lined up! Jellybean, can't wait for blue cheese and caviar with L'Amelie!

The new Funeral For A Friend album is weird. Like the oxymoron happy emo, the band tries to be snappier, more lively. They add elements of current brit sensibilities, small catchy riffs and happy dialogue but it just totally falls short. Oblivion opens up the album with electronic keys remiscent of every other indie band out there, and the happy fest lasts till the epynomous double parter All Hands On Deck, where upon Funeral returns to their angst ridden emo riffs that only the placidity of Wales could bring out in a person. So does this album achieve it's goal? Funeral For A Friend had already showed their willingness to differentiate themselves from their other brethren Lostprophets, and this album shows that they continue to do so. So except for their day trip in indiepop land, they have crafted another staple emo album, worthy of your attention if you are into this genre, and maybe, to those skeptics wanting to jump on the bandwagon to see what all the fuss is about. 7/10

I should have bought Björk's album as well.

Gravity Eyelids

2007-05-11T22:18:00.000+01:00

I feel like tearing my hair out of my skull. How much info I've been cramming into my head for the past 11hrs got in, I can hardly fathom. God so many names! Technically 2 more days till Contract. Have to buck up, seriously, I am getting that examination feeling; the "OMG I AM FUCKED" air that permeates through your pores, screams into your brain to stop wasting your time and accept your fate that the only job you will ever have in the future is the one in Drew and Napier. As the toilet cleaner.

So in order to make myself feel better I worry about other things, like Summer Party®. Plans are coming along just fine. I just need to find a way to get as much booze as I promise, and that twister mat, and enough mahjong tables, and probably a way to prevent the coppers from showing up. Yup.... really all coming along just swell....

Everything is happening so quick, everyone's lives are changing so fast. I've stared back and wondered, "did I leave too fast?" Am I running away from something? Is everyone running away from each other. In our futile attempts we bump around and orbit each other, like celestial bodies on a surreal plain, and then we break off, and like lost comets we blaze through the heavens, leaving behind our ethereal trails till we find another body to orbit around.

Maybe all we need is gravity.

6 Days till all this shit ends

God That Was Strange...

2007-05-07T23:44:00.000+01:00

I dreamt I was in that supermarket again; the same supermarket I've been in a dozen times in my dreams. Dissimilar to any of the ones I've been before, yet so oddly familiar. I searched through the aisles, wandering by each one of them, until I came across a familiar figure. She was clothed in her plaid deep grey coat and jeans, reaching through the coffee jar section, hunting for something. I approached her, and stood behind her, trying to form the proper words to say to her.

She turned around and glanced at me.

"So can I trust you again?"
"I surely hope you can"

She turned and walked away, and I followed behind her.

I awoke to a more bitter reality.

May Angels...

2007-05-05T23:48:00.000+01:00

I was there. I still can't believe that.

It's so easy to lie there. Broken and destitute, with furled sails on the doldrums. So easy to forget what it means to feel happiness.

Do you remember happiness?

I think exam stress is really getting the better of me. Somebody please remind me what all this for again please...

St. Christopher pray for us
St. Jude pray for us
St. Aquinas pray for us
Mother Mary pray for us

Y for Yin

2007-05-03T00:47:00.000+01:00

*big hug to Yin*

Yin do you remember how we first met? Back when I was a shy introvert, with my bad haircut (ok arguably still bad) and my general goody-twoshoes-ness. You just strolled into my life, and started talking to me, as if we had already been friends for aeons. You burst into my life like a gale of fresh air. You were one of those that irrevocably changed my life in those tumultuous years. We laughed, we talked, we cried and we baulked. During my NS years where I nearly destroyed all my friendships, you were one of those that stood beside me; holding out hope for Dr Jekyll to resurface.

Stay strong for me please.

Say yes like you mean it.

Why am I so tired, why am I so tired, why am I so tired, why am I so dead.

Steadier Footing

2007-05-01T23:20:00.000+01:00

I spent the whole of yesterday doing this - legal skills preparation. It's no easy feat, especially not for my printer nor my printer ink, going through one cartridge and probably half of my spare already. All this, and all for 10mins on the podium. Incredulous.

Still you got to admit, a suit makes everyone look good. It was an especially hot day, and I actually felt like breaking out in sweat, and I was only wearing a two piece! How people where this crap in Singapore is anyone's guess.

The moot itself went fine and dandy. As usual I spoke too fast, and got a little nervous; which was not helped by my throat going parch, halfway through my argument, making it impossible for me to actually speak. Urgh, but at least my case was well presented, and I did do my work. Hopefully he won't mark me down too much. I didn't even stutter this time and I used Lordship the whole time through without even thinking and I did maintain regular eyecontact.

And Morris Minors are always enchanting things to behold. It's amazing how this thing is still actually working. I mean, look at that wooden frame! Such a beauty; nothing beats classic cars. I wish my mom still had the good old Alfa Romeo; Wong would have a fit if we took that car out for a spin. Tapping on the old dashboard to get the speedometer working. Haha.
These cool babes were lying in my backyard studying. I should try it sometime soon. It's very welcoming, the nice dry grass so totally different from the broad leafed, forever moist stuff we get back in Singapore that just gets you muddy the instant you sit on it. Then again, the sun beats down rather intensely over here, more so than Singapore I would say, such that sunblock is of paramount importance.

I finished contract notes preparation at last! Now to tort and constitution. I wanna cry...

Everything Everything Will Be Alright Alright!

2007-04-27T10:21:00.000+01:00

It's the eponymous 150th post! Give it up for teh Neubster! Yesterday was a good day indeed! After dodging questions in Constitution and actually knowing what was happening around my in Defamation, I went to town to scope out for the Let's Go Sailing LP, and though I didn't pick that up, I did get the new Artic Monkey's cd instead. While generally wandering in the direction of HMV to see whether they had a copy of Let's Go Sailing, I bumped into Amanda and Angharad whom I joined for a cuppa at Starbucks and a good chat about everything under the sun. But I digress, I know you want to get at the meat of the entry, either that or you have already and have skipped this entire paragraph. Either way...

It's a dream come true! They would never play in Singapore, and they had no tour dates set in the UK, but somehow, just somehow, they chose to come to Leeds. Needless to say, I bought the ticket the day it became available for sale.

Here's me with big wide boogley eyes. Obviously I can't do the puppy routine.

This was the support band, nobody remembers their name because the lead didn't have a very clear voice. They did a good job though, with catchy pop songs; only hampered by the fact that nearly everything went wrong for them. First, the bassist lost power, then the lead broke the string of his guitar (I knew it was coming at the way he was abusing that guitar). Still, a good though wholly forgettable performance.

Is it me or does this just reek of Cobainism???When Jimmy Eat World came on, there was a 3 minutes of death. The crowd pushing, shoving and jumping so much that it was impossible to breath. Luckily it died down after the second song, where I somehow ended up 3m away from where I was originally standing, and funnily enough, Jeremy got pushed to where I was as well!

They were absolutely fantastic. Jim couldn't reach the old notes, but the energy was still there. They played two songs from their upcoming album; Big Casino Out and something else that I can't remember as well as nearly every one of their singles. Hearing Clarity, Lucky Denver Mint, and Get It Faster live was a dream come true. They are right up there with Franz Ferdinand IMO. They were that good. The only downside was my poor shoes. I should really have worn something older than my new Teds.

Crimson, and Clover, Over and Over

Everything Will Flow

2007-04-25T22:52:00.000+01:00

Got up really early for a Secret Mission® with Natalie. Sadly, it was a failed attempt; non-accomplished, and really tired, we proceeded back to campus, where I promptly fell back so sleep. Who ever knew the Brits were as queue crazy as the Singaporeans? Then again, in a country that has 12 times the population as Singapore, you'd expect a few to be lying around somewhere. The sad part was that she wasted a total of £30 for naught. Looks like she'll have to get it via other sources.

I managed to get an internship at my Godma's workplace! It runs from 2nd July to 7th August, but I'm holding back from giving a confirmation until Uncle Eddy gets back to me about the firms he sent my resumé to. Looks like that month is settled, leaving me with nearly one month in Italy and perhaps a week in Bangkok with Mel and Nat if everything works out fine. Looks like the holidays are quickly being filled with activities way before I actually get back! I digress though... I should really continue concentrating on my work. 19 more days left... time is counting down really fast...

Apparently the stress and the Chocolate Diet™ are getting to me. Minor pimples are sprouting everywhere on my face! Aaargh. Guess I have to start using facial cleanser once again. I don't see how I can get pimples when all day I'm just sitting and writing notes. Then again; I'm not exactly really taking fantastic showers and preen myself when I ain't leaving the room.

I was joking about working at MacDs if I have a breakdown and quit law; Houfu contends that I should at least aim a little higher at Carls Jr, they serve better milkshakes in anyway, and it got me thinking back to those days when I was practically a one man show back in NS. Patching, Replacing and Tuning that fleet of 30 decrepit vehicles that couldn't go through a month without something breaking down, rusting up or becoming worn. I remember the days I swore and cursed until I felt I couldn't take it anymore; working in the sweltering sun, the Bukit Timah mosquitoes feasting on my sweaty, oily, grime encrusted skin; cuts and bruises galore as I navigated those tricky pipes and hoses and frames. While the rest of the camp people drove around, or worked in comfy air conned rooms, I toiled with barely a fan on my back, under vehicles and in areas where most of the time, I had only "feel" to work with. I had deadlines to meet, bosses that made my life hell, internal AND external reviews to prepare for, an 8-6 work schedule and was by far the dirtiest and smelliest person in camp by the end of the day sans those overweight people with gland problems (one of them smelled quite literally like pig lard 24/7). I guess my main moral is that, I survived, learnt a life skill, and will gladly rebuke anyone who thinks I have never worked hard for day in my life.

That's 3. Yes I've failed my maths. Quite literally infact, but that's a different story. Who was the fracking genius who came up with tangents, sines, cosines and whatnot? Apparently I'll never get into a Chinese University then. Who is it that I'm employing as my accountant? Oh Yin it was you right?

Let's Go Sailing have finally come out with their debut LP. They've already been featured in Grey's Anatomy several times already, the link above to my favourite song by them "Sideways". Keep an eye on this twee band because it is going up in the world. Perhaps it might become the next Deathcab For Cutie, and if not, at least Stars or Belle and Sebastian status.

Tomorrow marks several important things. Last day of seminars, last day of lectures, the Jimmy Eat World Concert and last but not least, blog entry no. 150!

In Need Of A Hot Air Current

2007-04-23T23:16:00.000+01:00

A million tiny fabrics in a million tiny places in a million tiny world
They float through the wind like cherry blossom peels
A million tiny voices in a million tiny words in a million tiny sentences
They tell me to follow the breeze

I wish.

I feel like such an idiot. Everyone else seems to have done their research. They know which firms to target, where they want to work, where they want to get at and here I am going about it all nonchalantly; as if my future was already decided for me. Technically it has; with my relatives helping me in send out my resumés but the worrywart in my can't help but wonder if I'll ever work my way up to those big firms; to those partnerships that bank in the big deals and the big names. I seem to have come to an impasse; after telling myself that I want to be lawyer, I've suddenly forgotten to question where I wanted to work in the future. Apparently this is now compounded by my module dilemma. I can only take Corporate Finance and Insolvency if I take Company Law as well, but then if I do that, I won't be able to take Family Law since that too is only offered next year. Should I go with breadth or depth? I am very interested in Family Law, and I guess that in the end, what you don't learn in University will be taught to you in real life; as long as you the basics then you won't have a hard time adjusting.

I can't believe I'm making mind maps for my work. It started out alright, but now, with consideration, it's starting to get a little bit insane. I've already covered half of consideration and it's taken up 1 and a half sides of the paper; and mind you its small writing, but at least it's got me reading and rereading all my notes and textbooks to gather all the information together to create something succinct and easy to remember. If I pull this off, I just might be able to make it through this one. Jason says the essay results are out this or next Friday. So screwed.

Jimmy Eat World on Thursday! At least one thing to look forward these upcoming abysmal weeks.

The Pin Drop

2007-04-22T19:00:00.000+01:00

From the effervescent highs, life now crashes into its mundane lows. With nary a whisper from a treasured soul, the exams approaching, and the likelihood that I'll not have any internship during my summer, I have never been as dark and depressed ever since I gave up that ghost of lovelorn 10 months past. Yet I somehow survived that, that day of restless sleep; that day where my stomach churned and my body crumpled and all was dark and meaningless and void in my life. Thank goodness my three musketeers were there to catch me when I fell; to try and fill my mind with happier thoughts and other notes. Time heals all wounds, time fixes all faults, but the scars of the past remain deep and unsightly; livid marks to remind us of those past transgressions.

This Silence, Is Getting So Loud

We had a bbq over at my place on saturday and I had an amicable time. It was a site to behold; our backyard jam packed with 40 people, with over 10 working the smallest bbq pit in the world; basically taking over 3hours to cook food for the whole bunch. Angharad came along, with her bottle of cheap wine that tasted like sherry with cough syrup inside it; stuffing our faces with burgers and sausages. Truth be told I still have not developed a taste for english sausages. Sure, they are more packed with meat, but they lack the crispy skin and the light, delicate taste of their german counterparts. Still, one observation I made was the general smell of the bbq. Unlike those in Singapore where one ends up smelling of smoke and more smoke, the bbqs over here leave one smelling like hickory sauce; a twangy, deep smoky type of smell that is almost wantonly edible...

Damien mysteriously popped out of nowhere and took us by surprise. He says he's coming back to University next work year; changing his course to Geography with Transport. The drama begins all over again...

Apparently I'm running for Secretary for the upcoming AGM. We had lunch at HRC, WAY too much lunch at such an hour; taking me over 7hrs to digest and to start feeling hungry again; I satiated the pangs with a peanut butter toast.

I realise my writing style quite nicely mimics my real life persona; filled with overly wrought dramas, verbose use of language and a tendency to digress, snipe, and go around in a loop.

21 Days to Exams. 3 papers over 4 days, 1 month of whiling my time away in the UK, 1 life-altering concert, and then, my real holidays begin. I have no time to stand still; time to stand up, dust off, and continue soldiering on in this endless game called Life®.

Spring Rolls

2007-04-20T23:20:00.000+01:00

Surprisingly, they served spring rolls for lunch in halls today! It was quite a good imitation save for the fact that it had too much spinach in it, giving it a slight sour taste, thus making it wholly inedible without ketchup. Oh well, at least it made me nostalgic.

Charlie confirmed her flight to Singapore and as such, is flying back home with me! I'll probably spend a week with her in Cambridge first, going punting and picnics and touring the last few remaining parts of London that are still a mystery to me (other than Luton, Hackney and whatever minging deathzones that rid London). Now to start planning for the summer party and other events!

In Typical Bourgeois Fashion

2007-04-20T00:00:00.000+01:00

I remember the days when we used to blow these things, and scatter their seed into the wind. How they resemble our youth, each of us over time, scattering into the wind, to take root in some distant parts, budding into ourselves. I miss those days in the playground, when we chased each other and came up with new games to play. I remember I once came up with this game (prelude to my overtly romantic nature?) where we had to chase each other with our dolphins that we bought during our trip to the local aquarium. We had to chase each other and "kiss" our dolphins. How the hell could I think of something like that at the tender age of 10? Maybe it was prophetic, how I'm always chasing after love, while the girls stand back and laugh me off.

I just remembered the first "gao-zheng" I ever witnessed was Holly (or was it Courtney?). She was coming down from the slides and she told me not to look, but I did anyway. She was wearing what appeared to be diapers; it was quite puffy, and I doubt girls wear pads at such a young age, they were white and they had multiple shapes on it that I can't really remember because she was going down fast and probably muddled by time. At least that's better than the years I had to endure of Nanyang Girls who didn't shave.

Whatever happened to all of them, and where have they gone? They are all 22 now; the last years of university, community college. Some could be working, some could be studying, some could have it made. Some could be married, some could be steadies, some could be dead. Just what happened to those 20+ other people I called my friends, and what of my hundreds of friends now? Will they too disappear slowly one by one off my life, like the insurmountable amount of seeds on the dandelion... I pray not...

Grandpa Nicholas has a few words for you. Stay off the drugs. Chastity is a virtue and Lifelong Learning is the way. Vote for the PAP, it's the safe choice.

I attended a Christian Union vs. Atheist Society debate. It was a really hard debate, one that is extremely hard to debate on. The House Proposes That "There is Enough Evidence To Support The Belief That Jesus Is The Son of God". Both sides put on a good show, though if I was an agnostic, I would still have sided with the Christians. The counter arguments against the Atheists was just too good. The floor wasn't too spectacular though, as quite a lot of people were just hounding for a chance to put the Atheists on the spot. Perhaps we should form the Catch 22 of our time. Humans are irrational beings, who believe in a God. It's irrational to believe in something that doesn't exist, so acknowledgment of Him must be a consequence of irrational irrational thought. Does a double negative create a positive? I choose to believe it does in this instance. What about you?

The Enigma Machina

2007-04-17T22:05:00.000+01:00

My dad called me to give ma a "pep talk". I hit upon an epiphany after talking to him. I realise, that I know everything about him after he met my mom, but I know nearly absolutely nothing about my dad before that. Like an employer, I only know him from whence his seed spurted the creation of my being, and what lay before that is like a soupy abyss; unknown and trapped behind like some deep long gone nazi enigma, my only knowledge being his academic credentials. So he went to St. Gabriel's, so he went to Singapore Poly, but what else? Who is this man who's face I take after? What did he do other than study and play hockey? What were his failings? What mistakes did he make in his past? Who was his first love and what became of it, or was my mom his one and only? Why were you given your fathers name? and why did I take on your name as well? Just what does it mean being Mathew Gerald? So many mysteries....

Perhaps this is why I don't like talking to him, because he just seems so infallible; there's nothing human to him. If I prick him he doesn't bleed, tickle him he exhales not one chuckle, hurt him and revenge the last thing on his mind. Please don't tell me what I see now is all there is to this man, this tireless machine. It's all a difference of culture; my dad was brought up as the eldest, the most responsible and most reasonable of his brothers. On him lay the burden of the Name, and to him was left nothing but the shirt on his back.

Looking back, I have seen the darker side of him at times, his selfishness and petty jealousy. But these are all character traits. It doesn't really answer the question; just who is my dad? What do I share in common with him other than being a leftie (a genetic trait; 2/3 of Neubronners' are left-handed)? I seemed to have picked up everything else from my mom.

Picking up where my discussion with Holly ended, I just remembered why I will not become a polygamist. My grandpa (bless his soul) had a mistress, and my nana was a very obliging woman, who did nothing about it. My dad was never ever happy about this, but he could not complain, as my grandpa ruled the household with an ironfist. As such, he treasures the sanctity of marriage above all things, and so have I learnt that from him.

Heh. Maybe I have started along the road of understanding him then.

Tagged!

2007-04-16T08:25:00.000+01:00

Apparently I've been tagged by one of those questionnaire things by Holly. It's still quite early in the morning so I guess I'll write them out.

Rule of the game: each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own 10 weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. People think I lost weight during the army but no. I lost my weight during my J2 years because I was in a depression as I got rejected by Holly. This turned so that I was actually starting to feel very good about losing all my weight; at a rate of 2kg a week, so I kept it up and within 4 months, I had lost 25kg. This brought about further changes as well, my skin became a lot less oily and for the first time in my life, I had days where I didn't sweat in Singapore!

2. Quite common knowledge but my first taste of alcohol; other than Hooch, was with Vodka. Nick Wong managed to convince me to upend a 1/4 of a bottle. It's thus extremely ironic that 2yrs after I swore to myself I'd never touch vodka again, my favourite aperitif is vodka cranberry.

3. I love the names Sarah and Holly. The first girl I ever loved was a Holly, and I've fallen for 3 Sarah's and another Holly ever since.

4. I often forget just what I'm supposed to say after sneezing; and I sneeze a lot. I always wonder whether I'm supposed to say, "God Bless Myself" or "Excuse Me" or "Gesundheit". My nose is also extremely sensitive to touch, so if you punch my nose or press it hard enough, I sneeze a dozen times. Funny for everyone watching, not so for me.

5. I get flashbacks very often; sudden memories of very embarrassing things or idyllic moments in my past. I may have slight photographic memory as well because I remember most of these events very clearly. The thing is that when I do get these flashbacks, especially the very embarrassing ones; like wandering into girls toilets by accident or saying stupid things, I usually utter out a vulgarity. I usually try to muffle the vulgarity (it comes out involuntarily, like tourettes) but this one time in the car, I was listening to one song when a flashback occurred, and because I was listening on the iPod, I couldn't here how loud I was speaking, so apparently I said "fuck" very audibly, and I had to explain to my mom what had happened; she didn't understand.

6. A long time ago, I used to have a set menu of what I wanted to eat for dinner. Monday was always Fried Rice, Tuesday was Curry, Wednesday was Pasta, Thursday was a roast/ curry or anything else and Friday was fried shrimp or fish noodles. Quite remarkable how things have changed; I now need a wide variety of food to keep me interested, and I'm willing to try new things. I still have an insatiable craving for KFC though.

7. I'm very absent minded. Very very very very very very very very absent minded. I always leave things at peoples houses; ESPECIALLY watches. They just disappear all the time.

8. I can actually play football. Very few people know this but I am able to bend it like Beckham. I was going to be forced into the class footie team by my teacher because I quite nearly scored a goal via a corner kick, but at that time I was more interested in being a nerd than an athlete. I used to be able to play tennis as well, but badminton ruined that for me, so my only solace is squash. Infact, speaking of badminton, I actually DID win several trophies for badminton when I was younger. I'm probably a lot more athletic than I appear to be. Still can't swim for nuts though.

9. I have very clumsy feet and a high center of gravity despite my apparent lack of height. So when I'm playing or running around, it is very very easy for someone to knock me off balance. This has lead to some rather embarrassing situations where I get knocked down by girls while playing basketball.

10.I do infact name most of my stuff toys. There was cowie the cow, munchy monkey (the gorilla) and peckie the duck. Great sense of imagination for names huh?

I tag - Ning, Jean, Yin, Gavin, Houfu and Wong.

Things That Ought To Be Said (Or Not)

2007-04-15T20:45:00.000+01:00

As I kissed her, I gave up any false pretenses of saying sweet words and melancholy moments. It justs blurted out, vulgar, brusque, those three magical words, my mind racing too fast to remember what I had wanted to say, the train impatient for those mere seconds I had to tell her. As I wait to hear from her (will I ever?) I wonder if what I did was rash and irrational. There are no butterflies in my stomach, no palpitations in my heart; because this I know is true, she is the only girl who has ever made me truly happy about myself. Not a day goes by without her entering into my thoughts, and she pervades my dreams every night. I am quite literally crazy for her.

Nat Nat

2007-04-11T14:52:00.000+01:00

Went out with Geraldene and Nat today. Had an artery clogging feast today, of oyster omelette , hokkien mee, char kway teow and carrot cake. It was fun seeing Geraldene, reminiscing on the old days and about how time flies; she's already in her third year.

After meeting Jellybean, Nat and I went over to the Chocolate factory. Quite fun with Nat driving me around; after much teasing her for being her siblings chauffeur.

Here's Nat trying to act all professional.

Actually she just kept on getting call after call after call. Nevertheless it was quite fun chatting with her. We have plenty of time to catch up in Leeds as well, hmmmm.

So I'm heading off tomorrow. Truthfully I can't wait to meet all my friends and get back into the uni mode. Can't wait =-)

So I'm leaving on a jetplane, just two months till I'll be back again....

This Could Be Our Last But It Isn't...

2007-04-10T15:09:00.000+01:00

I had a dream about Charlie telling me she would come over if I would help drive her around the island because she had no more money left to take a cab or a bus, which was incredibly weird because we were already in my car and I was already driving her past Esplanade. Oh well. I had a stranger dream, though I forgot what that one was all about; it was really funny though, and I think I did woke up saying something in that one.

Went back to CJC today with Desmond and there were MASSIVE changes. The Library, my second home had become a real haven, looking more like something out of a University than a Junior College. Very well designed; spacious, airy, bright but humane, such that it was comforting to actually stay inside there. Apparently you need 11 points to get in now as well! Gone were the days of getting in with 16 points easily. My how time flies... I met Mr T. and at least he was still the same, a tad thinner, healthier perhaps, the same can be said about the other teachers that I saw. It felt great catching up; should do it more often.

After that went for mala steamboat; I know, the name is sooooo stupid. Mel was late, though Asha was even worse.Me and Mel, before I started choking on a piece of super spicy spinach

Me and Des. He, wisely, chose not to take anything from the spicy section.

This is Asha's hand. It's quite fun talking to her hand at times.

After the long and pretty exhaustive lunch, we went over to Paragon to have tea with Asha's friend, Natalie. She's studying at Notts. A cool gal.
Mel and Asha eating what appeared to be a gigantic amount of whip cream on top of bananas and digestive biscuits.
Nat with her sinful chocolate cake. I had my usual key lime pie, so I won't be putting up any further pics of that.

After that, I had to rush off AGAIN to have dinner with my Godpa! Omg I had been eating all day! I decided to settle for something lighter, the Lobster being a real treat!
I'm heading back to Leeds on Thursday. Time seems to have flown by so fast. *sigh* Exams are rearing their ugly head.

I haven't done much reflection this time round, but it tires me to write all the thoughts that I have. I've tried my best to live a near saintly life, and failed miserably. I guess I am just a human after all. I keep on failing and regretting and moving forward hoping not to make the same mistake again but like a dog I always end up chasing my own tail and barking at my own reflection. I've built up very weird reputations, but I guess that's just a part of being me. I came back here hoping for a great time but what I really found was monotony broken every now and then by a random rare outing; my friends squeezing me into their busy schedules.

When I swapped handphones with my mom, I started to delete contacts that I would never call again, or had forgotten in time. With each number deleted, it felt like I was snipping away the tethers to the dark ages, getting rid of things better left behind, times better left forgotten. Guiltily I revalued my relationships with those individuals, giving them material value and manifest meaning, and when they had none, I severed; like a gangrenous limb. Most of them were people from NS, ah bengs with whom I was forced to befriend in order to survive the chinese helicopter of a camp I was in. They weren't my kind of people, they weren't my kind of friends, the only connection I could see were that they could end up being future clients (if you get my drift). Thinking back I feel bad, because suddenly I became like P; something I detest fervently. By numerating their worth, I was making them less human, I was being... meritocratic. The next time I meet them in the camp, I guess I'll ask them for their numbers again, even though I know I'll never talk to them...

Claire Bears

2007-04-07T16:45:00.000+01:00

Went out with Claire today on a whim; wanted to do some shopping, and I like to go shopping with someone in tow.You just never know who you'd run into. I met my old friend Mr Milo! He's been keeping very well apparently.

Claire-chan desu!

We went to La Braceria for dinner. The food was immaculate as ever save for the clamari which was quite hard.

Like Father Like Son. Scary

Forgot what I dreamt of last night, though I remember it was quite intriguing. Too much time has passed by I guess, but if I'm not mistaken, my cousins, Ning, Mina and a few others were in it.

It's Easter Sunday. He is risen. Praise the Lord =)

When You've Got Nothing Left To Burn

2007-04-03T15:53:00.000+01:00

I stared at the blue walls and felt repulsed. Ning's right, this room, this space, just does not reflect me. The large desk built to accomodate videogame systems, with a workspace completely useless because it is blocked by my bedstand is just so ugly and unuseable. The drab blue walls and the dark dreary curtains. The low bed held up by one single block of wood. No, this room is not me; it was me, over a decade ago, unchanged over the years. It's about time the room gets a renovation to reflect just who is staying inside it. Big changes are in stall. I'm going to redesign my room. I'm going to repaint the room to a light cream colour, change to double curtains so I can draw them during the day. I'm going to change my bed to something more solid and higher. I'm going to put in a shelf where I can properly store my literature and my cds/ dvds. Most importantly I'm going to rip out that piece of crap desk, and put in something more avant garde; something made out of glass preferably. I can't wait to get around to it; finally, a room that I'll once again be happy to call my own.

Went out with Holly today. She was looking as swell as always. She's holding on to the stupid pics of me trying to wear more than one hat at once. Thinking back, I think I really should just do that; to pay kudos to the Mighty Boosh. In anycase, Mr Bean's Holiday was quite distinctively average. A few chuckles here and grimaces here and there, but nothing really super laugh out loud funny.

I ransacked my cupboard and my wardrobe and rearranged the tv and my room is now quite decidedly empty. For the first time, my room seems too big. I'm on the right track then. The days go by so fast... soon I'll be back in Leeds. I don't know what to feel...

Cat Naps

2007-04-01T15:51:00.000+01:00

Now I remember exactly why I never take afternoon naps. I decided to take one this afternoon and I had the wierdest dream ever. Upon "waking up", I decided that I needed to rearrange my bedroom, only to be interupted by my mom, who was clearly upset and then Michelle, who was dressed up as Mickey Mouse. Apparently, Aunty Jessie was arranging a costume party that was superseding our own Easter party. I then told her I'd join her after I arranged my room, whereupon I started digging out some albums and realised that they were playing one of my rare eps downstairs! I went to join them and I started singing along. They were all dressed up in one costume or another. I dun remember much else about it, but I do remember that there were talking animals or insects inside. The worst part of course was waking up, and feeling even more tired due to the vivid dream, taking me over half an hour to get rid of the grogginess. Oh well.

Drank way too much at Paulaner today, made my dad do a merlion because I started talking about civil rights in relation to that woman who got detained by the police. Quite funny really. Lol.

2 weeks left before I head back... wow.

I remember the princess snoring ever so slightly, dead drowsy on my extra seat. She looked so serene (she says she looks more like a pig after I showed her the picture I took). 2 weeks before I see that serene face (in person) once again...

Muddled Mina's and Vivacious Val's

2007-03-31T18:17:00.000+01:00

After a very late start and a hefty dinner at Thai Express, we went to Muddy Murphy's to enjoy some typical irish beer. I actually felt quite at home stepping into the pub, it's surroundings reminding me of the Library; my third home.

They had WAYYYY overpriced Cider Black. Drinking it brought back a wave of nostalgia though. Jaclyn may call it a girls drink, but it still remains one of my favourite drinks since it goes down quite easily, compared to warm beer or wine which can burn down your throat.

It was really nice spending a night with them, especially since Mina is so flamboyant and spontaneous. We sang stupid annoying songs, love ballads, old school rock songs and what not as well as reminisce about the past. These girls have been friends for over 15 years! So funny hearing some of the stupid things they did to each other back then.

Follow Me

2007-03-30T04:22:00.000+01:00

My dad brought this home. There seems to be plenty of these new donut shops popping out, a sure sign of stagnation really. Since noone really cares about bread from BreakTalk and Beard Papa and what not anymore, they try and enter one of the last markets without much competition since Dunkin Donuts left a power vacuum over 15 years ago.

So what can I say? No, they were no Krispy Kreme I tell you that. The dough itself lacked that flavour and the kick only Krispy Kreme donuts can deliver (and that's when the Krispy Kreme donuts are old, when they are fresh, these pale imitations just fall apart). People are queuing up for half to an hour for these things. Singaporeans really need to taste better stuff. Like, how Chippy's is marketed as a British fish n chips shoppe. There was nothing British about the way they served their fish in little soggy strips, let alone their chips which were apparently battered and deep fried as well.

The Salt Wound Routine

Looking back, Ning was right (as in, your tagboard post), meeting Joyce is always a very emotional affair for me. I think what struck me the most was when she asked me if I would have been like that guy if we had gone out back in JC. Thinking about my character back then, it was eery that I totally agreed. Looking forward, I'm still fighting that part of me, the selfish prat that shouts "MINE MINE MINE". Most people say that I've changed, matured (more like wine than moudly cheese I hope), but I don't know... have they seen the flipside of the coin?

I'm worried I'm going down a one way street, am I taking a shortcut? I'm so sick of running into brick walls.

And all of the stars, have faded away. Try not to worry, you'll see them someday. Take what you need and be on your away and stop, crying your heart out...

VisualDNA

2007-03-29T18:31:00.000+01:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Letting Go

2007-03-28T15:55:00.000+01:00

The thought passed through my mind as I stared at her cat like eyes. Flashed, effervesced, sublimed, dissolved and fizzled away. I know I've moved on.

I have royalty on my mind

Singing becomes easier when you mean each and every word that escapes your mouth.

Suddenly I See

2007-03-26T14:36:00.000+01:00

KT Tunstall - Suddenly I See

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on a wire

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

13 13

2007-03-24T17:20:00.000Z

13 Tzameti has nearly no character build up, no real story or hell even a music score; but like an impairment, it heightened what it did have to superhuman levels. Done in the dark gritty noir style; the dirty backdrops and seedy settings bringing out the locales more than technicolor could ever hope to do. The tension built up by the lack of a soundtrack, coupled with great cinematic flare, results in a movie that has you at the edge of your seat, wondering just who would be the next one taken out in the high stakes gamble the protagonist gets himself into. It all ends on an ironic flare, which although not expected, just did not seem a fitting climax. Still, a really good french film at the end of the day; though I would admit, the only bad french film I have ever watched was that Werewolf one (and no it was not A Werewolf In Paris).

Met my cousins at Godma's father-in-law's memorial mass. It was good to see them again. Eugene is now approximately 1 month pregnant and Marcus is coming along fine at 4 months. Lady of Lourdes is a really small church, more like a chapel if I must say so; still, it harkens back to the colonial era; in it's white wash and Lourdes blue. They were having a pigeon infestation though, with birds crapping IN the church itself, and almost did on the priest!

The Days Pass By

Lawyers and Operas

2007-03-23T17:21:00.000Z

So I went to NUS Law Faculty to act as timekeeper for Hou Fu's moot. I arrived decked out to the nines. Skinny jeans, blazers, vest, black tie. The only giveaway was that I was wearing skinny jeans and smart casual shoes. Then again, I was dressed up for a night at the Opera anyway, and they didn't seem to care much about my attire. Hou Fu looked professional in his suit though, almost surreal, like some animé character out of Phoenix Wright. Must be the hair. lol.
Here's Hou Fu as we waited after the moot; there was no clear winner in it; I left my camera in the moot room so I'm now chummy with the campus security staff, for the bus. We got tons of looks, especially since I looked more skater punk than lawyer. Lol

Does this remind you of a certain MTV video anyone?

Which arm belongs to an NTU student, an NUS student and a Leeds University student?

The greatest shock the whole night was me staring at this face in the opera choir that seemed very very familiar, but with less weight around the cheeks. Checking the namelist, I was shocked to find out that it was indeed Nick Teo, in the choir performing in the opera as well! I met up with him afterwards and waved to his parents, who don't remember me at all; understandable as it's been over 6yrs since I last saw them and I have gone through so many dramatic changes since.

The opera itself was really good, although the music had a droning sense to it, which coupled with the grainy voices of the opera singers, nearly lulled me into deep slumber as my mind started fleeing the confines of the Esplanade and sought out other attractive destinations in time and space. I think what was quite cool was that I actually knew at least 3 of the pieces played. Heh.

Surprises Await

Law Textbooks in Singapore are fucking dirt cheap. They don't sell Halson though. A travesty!

3 Days Later....

2007-03-21T14:39:00.000Z

The two stars... separated by a vast ocean now.

Went out with nana today. She looked good as usual, though slight shrunk. I don't believe I grew any taller but I don't ever remember her being so small. Weird.

Me and Nana

And here's a pic of me in my new style! Or rather, one of them. Heh.

I have to really stop buying clothes. This, coupled with the new trousers, blazer, shirt and watch brings my total expenditure to well over a K already. Urgh. I need a haircut...

Details

2007-03-20T01:57:00.000Z

These have been various entries I have started writing and now have compiled since I took off on my journey on Saturday. Enjoy!

It’s 3 hours into this mundane flight. As I worry about whether I brought my Contract notes, I can’t stop thinking about that princess that I had spent the last 4 days with. The princess with the magnificent curls, the smooth down on her skin, her high cheekbones, her button nose, her sultry voice and most of all, her fiery spirit.

For all those that didn’t know, I’m currently on my way back to Singapore! Wanted to spring a surprise on some of my relatives; which is why my spreading of my return has been rather suspect this time around. Give me a txt or an IM if any fo you are interested in a meal or summat.

Shit I’m really worried that I didn’t bring my contract notes. I just hope that everything was posted on Nathan Boddington so that at the very most I can reprint it all; no problems with the rest of the material as I always do my seminar work on my computer. Thank goodness for that.

Update:- Good news! I did indeed leave it in my luggage! I have everything to study now.

I’m not looking forward to the dreadful heat. Then again, I missed the terrible frost as well.

3 pints and 3 hours of sleep later, I’m suffering from a terrible case of jetlag. Munching on fresh produce that doesn’t cost an arm or a leg, listening to Within Temptation on television (what a change!). The heat is doing my legs a little bit of help, the humidity stopping my legs from getting too dry and agitating the eczema.

Since Mothers day was celebrated on Sunday in Britain, I decided to bring forward the Singapore one as well so I could celebrate it with my mom. After hunting the whole of Sixth Avenue, we found out that tucked in a tiny little corner were a group of restaurants. Nestled in this little oasis was La Braceria. Upon entering we were greeted by the owner of the restaurant, a suave and totally shaved man with a thin Italian accent and nonchalant eyes. He led us to our seats and we ordered some wine. Sifting through the 3 page menu, we decided on a magherita and a fettucini with chargrilled chicken infused with black truffle and served in a light cream sauce. The food came marvellously quick even by Chinese standards, but all fears were laid to rest when we took our first bite of the pizza, which was distinctly Italian in nature; soft but not soggy, and the mozzarella of a fine grade and tomato sauce not overly sweet like the generic crap. What made the trip entirely worth it in the end was the pasta.

On the base facts the dish was a winner. The fettucini was perfect; very springy and very easy to eat. The chargrilled chicken was of the right size and nice and moist and the cream sauce was not of the white overbearing quality, but light and with allot of olive oil and ultra fresh Italian herbs which made each bite a journey, a 1 minute rollercoaster rides of tastes of the Mediterranean. These combined together made the dish utterly succinct as it is, maybe not worth the $26 but definitely the best cream sauced pasta I had eaten in my life. But he went one step further. By introducing black truffles, he brought this distinctly heavenly dish back down to earth. The truffles added a whole different layer of complexity, bursting at first with the taste of wood and earth, before melting into the taste of Italian herbs, and then back into the aftertaste of chocolate of parsley. Each bite was an explosion in my mouth; a million different tastes passing through, each to be savoured, to be remembered a little at a time. Worth the trip? Defnitely.

The medicine is working wonders! I think I might actually look completely normal by this weekend!

Unsere Träume sind Realität gewirdt

HappyNings

2007-03-16T16:35:00.000Z

The three best days of my life in awhile have just passed me by; each day a gift from God, to spend time with her. I have never felt so easy around someone like that before, and this was only the second time I've ever seen her in my life. Time flew by so quickly, but each day was like a psychedelic kaleidoscope; a myriad of rainbows, shapes and colours. Only she could make the mundane into something new and refreshing.

Here's the princess, playing Uno Stacko even though we've already discussed half of the questions on the green tiles before. We just came back from a great dinner at Akbars and we watched Pride and Prejudice through the night. Hello Mr. Darcy.

The second day we attended a gig at the Cockpit, featuring one of my fave bands, 13 Senses. Luke Toms was supporting them and he wasn't that bad himself, although he did resemble a 19th century german from the Illusionist (which we caught in the afternoon on the whim).

13 Senses finally came on after what seemed like the longest intermission ever and they were absolutely stunning! The place wasn't too packed and the music was brilliant live. Definitely a great night. Which we finished with another movie, this time being Goodbye Lenin! Such a fantastic movie.

I think what I loved most about the whole things were the mornings we spent lazing around in the beds, staring at each other, staring at her lips quiver and her eyes roll around, grabbing ideas off the strands of thought that passes through her mind. Talking and musing about our likes, dislikes, and everything under the sun. To feel that sense of ease around someone, that there were no secrets in need of keeping. I could do that forever...

The journey may start in 16hrs time, but the voyage began on Tuesday, 13 March 2007 at 3.15pm.

Give Me The Sweetness

2007-03-12T21:43:00.000Z

Nothing can encapsulate the excitement that courses through my veins as we speak. The very thoughts, the very ideas of future events sending my brain into overdrive, coursing adrenaline throughout my body.

Ning is coming down tomorrow!
Dinner at Akbars!
Lawsoc Easter Party!
Shopping!
Dinner at Red Chillies!
Late Night Movie Marathon!
Thirteen Senses!
Another Late Night Movie Marathon!
Sarah's Birthday Party!
Mothering Sunday!
Jimmy Eat World!
New Found Glory + Cute Is What We Aim For!
Funeral For A Friend!
Muse!

And the best part is that the first half of all that is crammed into the next 5 days! I have never felt this excited, this happy, this invigorated for such a long long time! 1.5 months ago I was bemoaning my sordid existence, and now suddenly I feel thrust upon the top of the world.

Don't Wanna Be....

2007-03-11T11:19:00.000Z

Since there was no way I would spend that much money getting a leather jacket and other accessories to make me into a real punk rocker, I decided to do the next best thing and go as everyone's favourite, a poser punk! I must say it turned out quite fine actually, quite comparable to Billy Joe Armstrong, though that would put me at risk of being beaten up by nearly every other person in the world.

Evolution was fantastic as usual (pics for that will be on Facebook). They played everything, from indie, to trance to britpop and even the macarena! Sooooo funny seeing everyone doing the macarena dance!

Notes On A Scandal

2007-03-10T01:57:00.000Z

Notes On A Scandal makes you wonder just how far would one delude oneself to the truth in a given situation; and how far would you go to achieve such delusions. Judi Dench is Barbara Covett, a lonely spinster who sees her world as a lucid landscape of decrepitude and incompetence. She pictures herself set out from everyone else, and soon finds herself believing that she has found her soul mate in the form of Sheba Hart, played by Cate Blanchett. Sheba however, has formed an illicit affair with a 15yr old student and when Barbara finds out, twists it to her advantage so as to achieve her aim of driving Sheba closer and closer to herself. The story continues but needless to say, the movie is an exercise in human depravity and the question of what love really is.

Barbara believes she has found her soul mate, and sees herself as a liberator, the person that would sheer Sheba's connection with her dreaded bourgeois lifestyle. She keeps a diary filled with star stickers to mark extra good days, these days being those where she has twisted Sheba's problems to her advantage, to drive her closer to herself. Sheba is an unwitting host, a lost lamb that falls prey to this trap, aiding Barbara by being candid and naive. Like Tolstoyan friends they form a sisterly bond that Barbara misinterprets as love; this faux love as unpure as the bitter world she lives in. Through this veil, Barbara comes off as a predator, searching for a love she doesn't have the capacity to have, and Sheba another devoured soul, unwittingly falling into this trap like a fly in a pitcher-plant. It is this irony in the end that tops it all off, that for Barbara, this is all just a routine part of finding love, as she moves on to another prey, as if the previous one was just another page out a diary. I guess we must always remember what true love is, selfless and reassuring, that it should never be garnered through manipulating situations or in fact, the person you so love.

At the very least, it is another must see film.

Ning, my dream turned into reality, and I really couldn't care less. You're right about everything, as usual.

Anticipation.

Early Memories

2007-03-09T00:57:00.000Z

I stood at the sliding glass door and stared out into the garden. The light flickered and elongated the shadows of the mango tree. My mom approached and drew the curtain beside me, so she herself could peer into another long Singaporean day giving up to the ghost of the night.

"Where's daddy! Where's daddy!" I exclaimed to my mom. Dad had been going away so often, that I could hardly remember when was the last time I saw him.

My mom said nothing, leaving me alone to do my window gazing; like a wide eyed doll in the doll house.

Another day came and dad was finally back. There was a short exchange of words, I couldn't comprehend what they were saying, or shouting.

My next memory after that, is that I was in America, entering nursery school.

I went to Leeds Girls High School, and it gives The Chinese High and Hwa Chong Institute a run for its money. I would actually say, that Leeds Girls High School is twice as big as that, and also twice as annoying with over 6 entrances to 6 different sections of the school. After being lost for over 50 minutes, me and Jeremy found our way to the Elinor Lupton Hall where Dance Night 2007 was being hosted. A wide smorgasbord of dancing techniques were performed; from ballet to swing, to irish dancing to break-dancing. The break-dancing and interpretive were two of the best segments, with ballet being a tad awkward as some of the girls were rather heavy on their feet, landing with a grimacing thud that threatened the beatific lucidity of their movements.

I seem to have a lot of unresolved memories in my mind. So many things in my life that have shaped me into what I am today. Thanks to that special someone. With your help I think I'm going to finally put all these chapters to a close.

Now I Say....

2007-03-07T13:49:00.000Z

The eponymous date had arisen. Jet, Live at the Refectory. After missing out so many good gigs last term, after over 8 months without a single gig in sight, it felt good plunging deep into the mess of human beings enraptured by quasi-rock gods.

The newly refurbished Refectory was looking really really swanky, totally different from its previous dilapidated state. The lighting was top notch and the redid faunices and tilings made the place snazzier than some of the clubs I've been in in Leeds!

The Cheeks were the first support band. The best way of describing them, according to Jez, is "distinctly average"

However, these guys were top-notch. Though I can hardly remember their name; some danish band, they had a superb bassist that kept the groove up and started climbing and jumping everywhere while they belted out some catchy indie rock songs. But of course, this was what we were waiting for all night. Jet.

They broke it down and for "Look What You've Done". So beautiful.

They ended the night playing "Rollover DJ", by which time everyone was jumping around and shouting out the lyrics with them. What a night! There was loads of crowd surfing, and also loads of shoving, though I've experienced worse back during Rock For Good. Now I have 13 Senses, I wonder how that will be especially since I actually know most of their songs!

... Are You Gonna Be My Girl!

My Celebrity Look-alikes

2007-03-06T17:53:00.001Z

http://www.myheritage.com

Law Ball And Beyond

2007-03-04T19:43:00.000Z

Law Ball; like Prom all over again. The preparation, the anticipation, sans the deliberation. I felt highly sedated, calm, unafraid for some reason; no trepidation, no hesitation; as if I just knew that I was going to have a good time. Turns out I was right on all accounts.

Here we are at Charles Morris waiting for Angharad. My girl frens all so beautifully dressed tonight. Amanda, Charlie and Sarah. Charlie did her curls with hair straighteners! Amazing!
So who did I see when I first got there. My athenian goddess, Kalli. She had a marvelous sequin dress on. Shimmering.
What can be said about the Mariott? It was just as posh as the Singapore one, probably even more so, occupying a very nice victorian building in the middle of town.So although they overcharged for the wine spritzers (£5.95!), when we sat down at our table, we saw to our delight 2 whole buckets of wine, jugs of beer and orange juice and for the ladies, a white rose each.

Look at all the beautiful roses. The flowers look really pretty as well!It's always fun meeting new friends. Here's a pic of Terri from my Legal Skills group!

I think I've developed a reputation...

But what else did they offer other than the food and drinks you ask me? There were three "vacation" rooms offering distinct attractions. New York had a proper 1930s Jazz quartet belting on the beautiful Jazz as people gambled their money away on the roulette wheel. In Hawaii you get flower reeves and win coconuts by knocking them off walls with useless plastic balls. In Japan you sang karaoke and in the main dance hall, you grooved to 1960s soul and 1990s dance cheese.

Again, I attracted the attention of some blonde girl, grooved with her for quite abit, but stood her up =O to dance with my main group. Got cheered on as a legend for my cool grooves to those phat funky beats by two of our fellow law mates and somehow, got checked out by a total gay stranger while getting a glass of water. Serious, he was the only guy in tight jeans and he was way too old to be a law student.

The next day was equally exciting, with me attending church with Claire, and both of got called up to give the offertory. It was my first time and I was mildly hesitant; mainly because I always associated this type of thing to be done by married couples, and not regular housemates. The Lord gave me inner strength though, and I don't think I made much of a fool of myself.

Spring is coming soon, and you can feel it despite the chill in the air. Such a season of anticipation; the time to be reborn, new experiences, new adventures, new feelings. The tides are turning and the winter of despair is giving in to a spring of hope.

Jet on Tuesday!!!! I SAY DO YOU WANNA BE MY GIRL!!
Charlie's Birthday Party!!!!!!!!
Ning coming down!!!!!!!!
Lawsoc Easter party!!!
Thirteen Senses!!

Things can only get better.

Ich Liebe Dich

2007-03-02T22:40:00.000Z

I attended Aileen's Requiem Mass; a very solemn occasion indeed. It hurt me to see the parents like that, to see the sorrow and downcast gazes all around. I was moved to tears when her mom spoke up, reminding us of one of the most important things in life; to live and love and tell everyone how much you love them, like each day could be your last. It made me feel dirty, the way I ignore my mom sometimes even though I know that all she means is the best for me. It made me realise why I always take things close to heart, because life is a serious matter.

I love you Gavin, Houfu and Seng Chye, for being my best buddies, the musketeers. For all the times we spend together, thinking way too much about the meaning of our lives, helping me whenever I get too sad, or too run down. For always being there for me.

I love you Wei Quan; the brother I never had. I love you for always sticking by my side for all these years, through all the shit, through all my shit. I'm sorry for making you a drunkard. lol

I love you Emmanuel. Even after all those years of seperation, of fights, of name calling, of bigotry, you were my first friend in Singapore and you will always be my first friend in my heart.

I love you Jean, Tiffy, Therese, Yin. You probably didn't know this but you four were my first true gal friends. You taught me confidence, gossiping, flirting and how to raise hell. You gave me the best year of my life since I was 6 years old. You gave me reason to live. I love you all.

I love you Holly. You have taught me so much in life, most of it destroying me in the process, but you have helped rebuild this body; hopefully better than you originally found it. You truly are one of the most important people I have ever met.

I love you Andrea; my sister. You taught me how to be listener, shared in my insanity, partook in my poshness. The last 4 months in Singapore before I came here were bliss. I shall forever hold dear our tea times.

I love you Nick Wong; my evil twin. You really are the biggest twat I have ever befriended; perhaps that's why I love you so much. Kinda like that thing from Snatch yeah? Or rather, "What To Do, He's A Mate". We're like Tom and Jerry, always trying to kill each other but in the end, can't live without each other. Always remain the stuck up brute you are.

I love you Cousins (since there are quite a few! Sorry!). You are my blood, and I have never felt so lonely in my life then when I'm so far away from you all during this New Year season. Just picturing you all as I last remember you brings me to tears. I love you all so much. To the Neubronners, when we brought out the old N64 and played Goldeneye; that brought back so many fond memories of days gone past. To my mom's side, you all mean sooooo sooooo much to me; the times we went shopping, eating, watching movies, doing nothing in each others houses, I love love you all so much.

I love you Claire, Catrina, Laurel, Ruth, Jeremy, Jonny and Clarkey. Without such housemates like you, I doubt I'd have adapted to life over here. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my crazy ramblings, for dragging me out of my room when I felt lonely and useless.

I love you Sarah, Zuthur, Manhon, Sherrie, Edna, Asha, Nat, Mel, Ying Ying and Jit. My home away from home. For being Singaporean, whenever I've tried to alienate myself from that island I so love.

I love you Charlie, Sarah, Rachel, Lizzie and Amanda. You were the first few people I ever talked to in law, but you have stuck with me and been my support whenever I thought I couldn't carry on. We've done sooo much crazy shit together, it really feels as if I got a new lease of live whenever I'm with you. I'm sure tomorrow's Law Ball will be just as fantabulous as our other adventures.

I love you Joyce. I think I hated you for so long because I really did love you so much. How blind we were.

I love you Ning. We might not know each other for very long but it's such a relief to finally find someone as "weird" and "full of sh*t", "sometimes at the same time" as me. We're gonna raise some hell next next week aren't we. Remember to bring the donuts!

Each and every single one of you and the plethora of others I have not mentioned are a pillar in my life. A piece in my jigsaw of life, each so unique and perfect, that nothing can ever replace each one of you, and I could never be complete if one of you go missing.

Letters

2007-03-01T19:55:00.000Z

There's something awfully nostalgic, even romantic. Tantalising, scintillating about that brown or white piece of envelope, especially when you know it's not from the bank or utilities board. Anyway, the Lawsoc Ball Invitation Letter is especially quaint by having an old fashioned wax seal emblazoned on it. How cool is that? Elevating this small piece of crushed tree waste into something rather... posh.

However, it can't really compare to the joy I felt when I saw this baby lying on the entrance table in my house. Finally, after 3 long months, I had received something much delayed, much worried about.

Now to enter Into The Fire and Thru The Glass.

My weeks are getting jam packed with activities as the holidays near! I have an event every single night for the last week to attend!

Do You Need Sugarcult?

2007-02-28T15:12:00.000Z

They're beginning to grow on me a little, though they aren't the type of genre I frequent nowadays. Memory is another great song from them; simple yet deliciously pop-punky. Still, they don't hold a candle to Stars or the Decembrists or Let's Go Sailing; some of my newfound loves.

I guess it's official, I have come down with the flu. I better start drinking more fluids to alleviate this malady before Law Ball and before Ning comes over.

Time goes by so fast... 16 days

p.s I don't think I need Sugarcult that much anymore.

Over My Head

2007-02-27T22:36:00.000Z

Profound Results

2007-02-26T23:23:00.000Z

Everyone congratulates me but that doesn't seem to offer me much solace. Am I expecting too much from myself? I mean, I did know that I totally screwed one question up. Yet somewhere in my mind lingered the hope that I would have crossed that threshold. Nick here and having just received his first semester results, is a bit disappointed that he didn't do better in his English Legal System; scoring a 58 (a really high 2.2). His only solace being that he did quite well for his Constitutional Law; a 65 (a good 2.1). It's all in the past anyway, so he just moves on with the knowledge that at least he's on the proper track.

Let's Go Sailing is going to be the next big indie band. You watch. I am simply entranced by the melodies and bittersweet harmonies from this band, it's amazing. Check them out

Law Ball is this weekend! I can't believe it's coming so fast. I don't have a white shirt though, so I guess I'll go in the purplish blue one I wore for my mooting.

Anticipating

On A Happier Note

2007-02-24T19:32:00.000Z

Went out to Hard Rock Cafe and then to Revolution and the Courtyard with my housemates instead of attending my Lawsoc v. Medsoc Party. It was a wise decision though, as I was desperately craving for fajitas and also to chill out as a house; last time being over 5 months ago during our first weeks in the University.

You can only get this type of debonair smile when you are waiting for a meal you have been craving for the past 2 months.
Seeing this picture reminded me of Michelle and her laughing at my "ribbed" tongue. I'm not an alien!!!!
Everyone was quite happy at Revolution, doing £6 for 6 shots, but we thought it was too crowded for our taste. We wanted somewhere to chill and to talk crap, so we headed off to the Courtyard which happily was doing deals on cocktails and pitchers (£2 and £6 respectively).

I forgot why she was pointing an accusing finger at Jeremy, but the picture is priceless.
Probably it's because they thought we were dirty scoundrels for ordering pitchers of Blue Lagoon and Woo Woo (Woo Woo!).We started getting really really happy.
Claire taking artistic shots
And us dancing to cheesy music!
And polishing off the evening with Strawberry Daquiri's

I spent WAY too much that night; most on it on the fajitas, but it was worth every penny IMO. These guys were the nicest people in the world, really easing my transition into british life. I love every single one of them!

I still crave for more fajitas and ribs though. Ribs.....

The Otherside

2007-02-23T20:56:00.000Z

To follow up, I never knew her that well. She took the pulpit for the past few masses, and appeared at several of the socials. She was physically weak, walking slowly with her crutch, but when she spoke in that soft mid-american voice, you could detect the strength in her through the fragility of her speech. She was there at Pancake Day, taking pictures of all of us, of me sitting down, laughing and making conversation. She was there on Good Friday, giving the second reading and mass intentions. I never talked to her, not a word, not a smile, not a nod, not a thing. I took for granted that she would always be there, that what she had was just some minor leg injury; perhaps in hindsight I should have wondered why her voice was always so veiled. That night she passed away in her sleep, at the age of 30. So young... so young... it's hard sometimes to justify it, to look at it and think that He has a plan for each and every single one of us, and that if it is our time, it truly is so. I should have talked to her still... just a hello...

Forgive Us Father For What We Have Done And What We Have Failed To Do.

Just so many things have been occurring within the past week, so many bad decisions, situations, impasses, I sometimes feel as if I'm carrying my own cross. Perhaps this is why I'm seeking this repentance. That through this season I'll be able to fully understand what is going on in my life, and perhaps to reconnect myself to Him; always leaving Him behind in pursuit of this hedonistic dream.

Sometimes I wonder why I worry so much about other people. Why I think so much about how they feel, about how I appear to them, about everything in general. Why do I always make matters seem so big and over-proportioned. I've been doing this all my life, and I truthfully doubt I'll stop anytime soon. I am Olympus asking prisoners to lay their shackles on my back, as if the world ain't a heavy enough burden. Am I just running away from my own sins?

How long how long will I slide.....

I'll put up a happy post tomorrow.

Trepidation

2007-02-23T01:24:00.000Z

I've learnt something new today

Always talk to anybody you meet.

You don't know when they are called up to St Peter's Gates

Happy Pancake Day!!

2007-02-20T22:25:00.000Z

Celebrated in the UK, Ireland and Australia, Pancake Day is a day where... get this... they eat... PANCAKES! Apparently, in the run up to Ash Wednesday, they use up whatever flour, eggs and sugar they have in their houses to make pancakes in preparation for the Lenten Season (how this has survived through their Anglican times is beyond me). So I made my way down to the chaplaincy where I helped myself to a pancake topped with nutella. I should have gone for one more round though, but instead decided to save my stomach up for a donner pizza. I know I know, it's a rather sick habit that I'm gonna kick out of me during this season.

So tomorrow marks Ash Wednesday, and I have decided I should go all the way this year; in great penance for the thousands of sins I have probably committed over my time in this foreign land. If at all, at least it will be an experience for me, and perhaps I'll have an epiphany or two in this deprived state. Maybe I'll finally find that secret object I feel I'm missing in life. All I know is, it's going to be one hell of a journey.

I completely overprepared for my seminar yesterday but was quite pleased with the end result; though I might have come off abit brash, a welcome change from the calamitous nature of my last three seminars though, just sitting there and confirming everything that I knew.

I remember Holly once told me that she was envious that I knew where I was heading off to in the future. In those twilit hours we discussed about how I had a plan, and was following it; that I was the last person that really needed a soul searching trip. I think that that's wrong now, because I may know my future, but I still don't know myself. On each journey I go I discover a little bit more of what makes me me. Perhaps I can find that elusive piece to fill in that jigsaw puzzle now...

Edinburgh

2007-02-18T21:35:00.000Z

Firstly.... GONG XI FA CAI! A wonderful Chinese New Year to all!

Wow... how should I start... there were just so many stupid things we did over the past three days, it's unbelievable. I will never ever forget the trip; EVER.

After travelling for 6hrs on a minging cramped up coach, we reached the majestic stoned city of Edinburgh! The place absolutely did not look like an english city at all, it felt as if I was transported back 1300yrs to the middle ages, surrounded by cobbled streetways and looming grey-stoned buildings. We stayed at Budget Travelpackers, a really good hostel on par with the one we stayed with in Prague, with proper hot showers, clean sheets and modern facilities. It also helped that we were only 5 minutes from the castle and 10 from the city proper. Charlie and Amanda bunked in the bed behind Charlie, while me and Katie had the one on the far left.

Seeing as how we were early, we decided to have a little wander before the night out. Here's a pic of Edinburgh Castle in the sunset.

We went into a souvenir shop and tried on these ridiculous Scottish wigs. Lol.

And then we went for sushi at some japanese restaurant. Seeing as how they had unagi, I decided to have some since it had been over a month since I last had sushi. Sadly it wasn't the freshest unagi I have ever had, but it still hit the spot.

We then made our way to a nearby pub. Over here the smoking ban has already come into force, so we didn't come out smelling like chimneys! Wunderbar! We decided to take it easy since we were all suffering from coach-lag.

On the way, the girls thought it would be funny to bring me to an *ahem* place. I won't go into much details but it was probably the stupidest thing we have ever done. It really was downright sleazy and cheap and not very attractive at all. The saddest thing was that we were the youngest people there and all around us were these unassuming middle aged men that could be anyones fathers or grandpas. Makes you wonder what drives them to these types of establishments. We thought there would be allot more money flowing around, but it surely wasn't the stuff you see on Hollywood. Still it was funny, one guy flanked by 4 girls entering that type of place.

The next day though we got up to this beautiful sight! Nary a cloud in the sky! As you can see, most of the buildings are of the same unassuming colour as the castle and are really really tall; reaching up to 7-8 storeys. Being typical english houses, they look far smaller than they actually are, being extraordinarily big inside. Anyway I digress, basically, the whole old city looked as if it was part of the castle itself, a throwback to some bygone era.

Seeing as how the pub crawl only started at 2.30, we decided to do a little shopping. I finally found a Swatch shop and got the watch that I was eyeing since December. Cost me a pretty penny though... £70...

But alas we had to kick start the highlight of this entire trip! The Edinburgh Rose Street Pub Crawl. 16 Pubs ending at the Edinburgh University Union. As we made our way there was a nonstop chorus of approvals, yabadabadoos and Flinstones theme song singing. The people of Edinburgh were truly enjoying this spectacle.

Here, Kruella De'ville enjoys a glass of the finest scottish wine with her faux cigarette holder.

10 pubs later, we came across this busker outside and we started singing Champagne Supernova and Wonderwall, it was so uninhibiting acting like a fool along with 30 other people! It also didn't help that we were completely wasted on Apple Sourz and tequila shots.A picture of me and Minnie Mouse! After getting quite pissed and sobering up a little, and with the help of Loz, made our way down to the University Union. The Potterrow as it's called, is a large circular structure housing Edinburgh University's pub and club. Truth be told we were quite unimpressed; expecting something on par with Leeds University. Instead they only had one bar and one club playing cheesy music.

Still that did not stop us from having a really really good time!

And infact I made some more friends! A chinese guy approached me and asked for my picture and judging from his dressing and his accent, I knew immediately that he was a Singaporean. I had to find him and talk to him. Upon doing so I found out that this swell lot are really all Singaporean Exchange students from NUS! It goes to show that dressing up like total dimwits does have it's pluses. Yes indeed.

So anyway, a funny thing happened, I'm trying to get to know these Singaporeans better when suddenly, I noticed I'm being eyed by this blonde. Being in the "lets do something stupid mood" I started dancing my way up to her and we started grinding like nothing; certainly not the thing I wanted the Singaporeans to think that I am. So here I am trying to balance between not looking like a total fucking sleaze, but I'm getting my mojo on quite well with this ang moh. She then comes on to me and tries to take off my tie, and I start playing around with her. Well... you know what happens next. Won't ever see that tie ever again, hopefully I can make another one out of whatever blue material I can find...

I headed back to the Singaporean group to get to know them better; whilst dancing to probably the cheesiest music in the universe (seriously... Mambo No. 5? S Club 7? Trance? 60s?) and get to know them a whee bit better; getting several numbers before heading off to join my posse. We decided we had had enough and started heading out. We exit the building and turn around to see that everyone is exiting the building at the same time, exiting and making a huge ruckus. Standing in the freezing cold, we watched as a fire engine came round. Someone had set off the fire alarm in the Union. What a night....

Shit I should have gotten my tie back.

Alas it has to come to an end. We trekked up to see the great pavillion leading into the castle and took a trip round before returning back to the hostel and making the long, sad journey back home.

"Chinese New Year shouldn't be reduced to money"

As I texted those words to my mom, I really started thinking about what I had just written. After so many years of gambling, and joking and bitching about Chinese New Year, I finally realised that none of that could buy me the elixir of happiness that I need to fill the sadness in my heart of missing out CNY with my relatives and bestest friends. A hug or two from some local Singaporeans in Edinburgh may have given me slight comfort but they are no replacement for the love of kith and kin. I miss home so much... I feel so paranoid at times... so boxed up and left alone, like some soft toy of yesteryear, chucked into the drawer in favour of an Action Man. I'm not the strongest person in the world; shutting myself up when things go wrong; wearing my heart on my sleeve; making everything more complex (even my essays!) than they actually are. No man is an island, and neither am I...

I've got to tell you my tale...

Haven't I used this song before...

Heading to Skawtlahnd

2007-02-15T23:28:00.000Z

I'll be heading to Edinburgh tomorrow morning! Psyched! In the meantime, enjoy this!

V for Vivid

2007-02-14T19:34:00.000Z

Postal Service - Clark Gable

" I've been waiting since birth to find a
love that would look and sound like a movie"

Do you remember that scene, where Juliet stared at her lover for the first time through that blue fish tanks. Their faces warped and distorted by the ripples of the rising air bubbles, yet they could not take their eyes off each other, enraptured by that maddening disease known as Love At First Sight. I think to myself that I have found my Clare Danes, staring back at me when we engaged in that meaningless chatter oh those many days ago. Yet I have thought those thoughts too often, too easily, too soon, too readily and I don't know whether that is true love, or merely some agape love. How do I tell an oasis from a mirage?

I sent my mom a bouquet of handmade flowers for Valentines Day and she apparently broke down when she received it.

I've been re-watching Honey and Clover and I can't help but see how my situation in life has changed. From Ayumi I'm becoming more and more like Takemoto. Just like him I've been on my soul searching quest, and didn't like what I saw. Just like him, I'm staring at Hagu, but not even giving a fight to make things work. Just like him... I'm trying to understand me.

The winds invite me to lie down in the shade of the trees
I cry while watching the self that I don’t know
The guitar plays in preparation for those who have passed
The star falls for the lament of those who could not come

Please don’t go, no matter how I cry out
There is only the orange petals that sways silently
Only the soft brow remains
The memories in the palm of my hand are
Playing for the farewell of eternity

A child’s heart that clings onto the gentle hand
The burning carriage shakes off and continues
The guitar that plays for the lament of those who have passed
The string of my chest strums intensely

A sadness that won’t be stained white
The orange petals that swayed in the shadow of summer
Even if I lose that gentle brow
I will cross the sands that have been stained crimson
The rhythm of farewell

In the land that scorches the memories
There are those who hold that dear and start to grow

I see off the carriage of dawn
Somewhere, right now, the orange petals are swaying
Once more, I want to reach
The tranquil daybreak I saw before
A light that won’t disappear
Keeps carriage going

Home sickness is running rife, and I cannot escape the melancholy of listless days sitting in this room thinking about being back home where life could be so much better. Yet as I told her about keeping little bits of each person in your heart, so too must I always remember that. I pray to understand why I chose this route, made this choice, but for now I can only accept it and strive on, in the hope that each day would be better than the previous. I remember my "external" birthday wish, and I believe it holds true; that with you guys and gals by my side, I can actually make my way through these rough seas of self-perpetuating loneliness.

Holly, do we still believe that life is worth living just for seeing those tiny miracles of each day?

Lent Approaches

Sweet Dreams

2007-02-12T09:15:00.000Z

I think that all but confirms my belief that I have the weirdest dreams when either

1. I'm totally drunk
2. It's bloody freezing

Though I did not get myself into another drunken tirade as I did the previous week with Wong around, the modern boiler in this antiquated Victorian legacy has decided to kick the bucket, resulting in my room actually being colder than the air outside! My only solace being that it was at least 8 degrees last night.

Anyway, I had this strange dream that I was a character in some play. It took place inside a hospital-esque setting; like Thomson Medical Center, with a more homely surrounding with yellow wallpaper and warm lighting. I came onto the stage and then pretended to be dead as my body was used as an on-stage prop to provide comical effect. As I was set aside, I was told it was my queue to perform and I slowly got up... and started to do interpretive dancing. I swayed around, and danced like a ballerina, contorting and twisting and lifting myself up in ways that would take ages for me to be skilled in. It felt as if I was performing to Swan Lake, or perhapes the Nutcracker, with my eyes closed and the only thing guiding me were the hands of music, shaping my every move. Alas the music died down, and the coming of voices meant that that was the end of my segment, as I left the stage to thunderous applause. I went backstage and met the girl who had provided a verbal section before my part playing around with her computer. Showing me her wallpaper, it was a mosaic of herself composed out of only 5 pictures that she had taken! I was mightily impressed and was waiting for her to show me the programme to use when... alas, I woke up.

I have also come to realise that in this cold, my body burns like a furnace to keep warm. In another dream, I was waiting in the bus stop outside Serangoon Stadium, dressed in my CJC uniform. Apparently, I was planning to go back for some reunion party, and my dad was tagging along. It actually felt like Singapore; all hot and humid. The bus as well wasn't air conditioned, in fact, it was one of the older buses without any means of ventilation other than through those plastic windows. I was talking to my dad about not wanting to be late for "camp" for some reason when I exclaimed, "why am I so worried about army now that I have ORD'ed?". Then I woke up again and had to quickly shift my blankets because of the complete lack of airflow.

Cold

p.s I found a mosaic creator. It needs a lot of pictures though, but the effect is quite stunning. Macht Spaß!

p.p.s They came in today and gave us portable heaters in the meantime while they get the mains sorted. The picture is self-explanatory, looking more like some type of propulsion device more suited for a jet fighter or a space shuttle. Infact, I swear it's just as hot; my room feeling more like a tropical paradise than a dismal British Isle. This thing is definitely a fire hazard.

Another Basic Culinary Delight

2007-02-10T21:37:00.000Z

Holly may disagree but for what it's worth, I think I have "leveled" up today by cooking my first dinner all by myself. I intended to cook angel hair meatball pasta for them, but because of Morrissons lack in variety of pastas, had to settle for vermicilli. Cooking it all was not that difficult; a Jamie Oliver-eque affair though with me leaving cornflour everywhere, but at the end of it I had a very reasonable and edible plate of pasta, my greatest regret being that I put it under cold water for a tad bit too long (such that the dish was only warm by the time we ate it) and I didn't include enough mushrooms in the dish. It was a good idea to go with swiss browns though, the earthy flavour lending more to the sauce than I expected.

Now if only that nasty warden were to turn back our cookers on....

For Me This Is Heaven

2007-02-08T23:36:00.000Z

The first day of winter has arrived, 3 months too late!

As I watched the snow gather up and start melting away, I was taken back in time to the 90s, when I stayed in New Jersey. Truthfully, I don't remember what it was like seeing snow for the first time; It seemed as if I just assimilated there, that snow was just a normal everyday thing, like flowers in spring or silkworms in autumn. I do remember very well the fun I used to have in the snow. Every week during the winter months my mom would take me down to a school built on top of a hill. There I would take my sled and spend hours sledding down hill, tug the wooden planks back up, and repeat the process ad nauseum. Escaping from the confines of my mom's kitchen,it was a welcome break from the hours of chinese practice books my mom would force me to labour through. I remember it like it was yesterday, wrapped up in my beige weathercoat, layers of jumpers, corduroys, wellies and a beanie, me and the multitude of other children doing what we do best, living our childhood in blissful innocence, getting in that sled and rapidly heading down, sometimes twisting and toppling over, but each time as exhilarating as the next.

I remember each morning my mom would shovel the driveway, but she always gave me the chance to stomp in the knee high snow first; perhaps now it would not look so deep and cavernous, maybe reaching up to halfway up my shin, before she set out her task. Then she would always warn me about taking slow steady steps, as our walkway was not salted and was very slippery. She would shovel the drive way and start up her car in order to prevent that old jalopy from freezing up. Even in those adverse condition my mom would always take me out to go shopping, perhaps at Short Hills, or perhaps a little further.

I remember waking up and turning on the t.v to find out whether or not school had been cancelled, in my gray fleece pyjamas, hoping that today would be another great adventure with my mom to Toys R Us or Macy's. If not it would not matter, because all my friends would be there in school; Holly, Jennifer, Steven, Mike and all the others.

Those 5, short fleeting years, the sweetest memories I have in that suburban enclave where I was cloistered and truly innocent; where I actually had a childhood. Some of my readers hate the snow; a nuisance, a disturbance, a triviality that gets in your hair and on your clothes and on the driveway and makes everyday a troubling ordeal but to me... yes for me...

this is heaven.

Fashion Show(down)

2007-02-07T08:57:00.000Z

Went for a fashion show last night at Gatecrasher, organised by the Yorkshire Cancer Center. Featuring an eclectic mix of brands; FCUK, Vicky Martin, Gash and Joy amongst other.

Sorry for the bad pictures, the lighting and my position weren't ideal. It was really fun though, compared to the relatively corporate ones that I have attended in Singapore; Massimo Dutti I'm looking at you. They even brought in Killa Kela, the UKs best beatboxer who rocked the house down with his amazing beatboxing skills. What really made him unique was him lacing his work with popular dance music, so every now and then he would "play" a sample of a hit song, something from Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani, Frank Sinatra or even M.J.

One thing I was particularly pleased with was their use of normal sized models; replete with cellulite and flabby abs; well not that flabby and cellulite laced, I would say, the same amount any normal person would have. This really made the show all the more enjoyable because you could easily imagine yourself wearing the clothes as it was no longer confined to looking good on size 00 people. I particularly loved some of the stuff FCUK was offering, and might jump for them once they become available.

Of course, after the event, we were left famished, and quickly followed Edmond's advice to hit up a place that apparently sells tau hway. To our amazement, Harmony did indeed sell those beautiful slabs of curdled soy beans in a nice brown sweet sauce!

It truly felt as if I was back at home, back in Serangoon Gardens Market in the early mornings relishing in the the silky smoothness of the dish.

Still starving though we ordered char siew fried rice

And Beef Hor Fun. Both dishes were quite up to snuff as well, although they did cost a pretty penny; £5.50 each. I quickly wolfed down on the fried rice because it has been nearly 2 month since I last ate that, always prefering to order communal dishes at Red Chillies because of the large crowd I go with.

Since they all lived in Carr Mills, quite a distance from where I lived, I took the more cumbersome albeit less expensive option of taking that long 15 minutes uphill journey back to my home. Along the way I met my best friend Mr. Corona beer. We had such great times together didn't we? I've forgiven you for what you did to me during Lawsoc Xmas Party though. Till next time!

I met Sue in Harmony and her housing problems and school problems have severely drained her. Most of the time she looked as if she was on the brink of despair, the other times looking like a shell of a human being. She told me she might be dropping out, which would be rather unfortunate. No matter where she goes that mark would linger on her, even though I doubt she really did do it on purpose.

Everyone seems to be down with something, either the flu or the doldrums. It's currently -4 degrees.

I need a winter of hope

Everybody We Know

2007-02-05T18:08:00.000Z

I received an email from a Ms. Mathavan; purportedly a writer from the New Paper. Apparently they are finally deciding to do an article about him in the local newspapers, though I would wish it would be a more respectable publication than the heartland heart tugging New Paper. By keeping him in my thoughts and heart, I guess I'm hoping to keep him alive, that he won't be reduced to some half-shaped bygone memory allocated to the back of the mind like a jack-in-a-box, springing to mind every now and then before being kept away in the dusty shelves. No, he lives on, at least in spirit.

The toilet has been replaced and is no fitted with a swanky black cover! Would have been much classier if they had veneered it or used actual wood but I guess no one is complaining. How much the toilet will cost Jonny and Clarkey is still not out yet, but I doubt it will be cheap, these ain't Indian labourers installing Malaysian ceramics. It was such a sense of trepidation when I tried it out, a hesitance, all of which went down the toilet the instant I pushed down the flush (I know! Bad pun!)

I decorated my wardrobe with all my birthday and christmas cards. This way it will be easier for me to see and relish each and every single one of them, and not keep them hidden upon a shelf, to be untouched and unread. Now if only I knew where to put those 80 other photos that I developed back home...

So it was the first year in my interminable life that I had a birthday party separated from my parents and from my home. Unlike most children in Singapore, I've never held a function in a chalet or a resort, always preferring a party in my house. Strangely enough I didn't feel that homesick actually, perhaps it's because I had so many friends around me, it did feel like I was back home, having a big dinner in the front yard. Or maybe my mind was preoccupied with other matters; she did look extra pretty that night.

The Biological Clock Ticks

Every now and again I look back to that show, You, Me and Everybody We Know and think about the validity of the show; that the only purpose in life is to pass the time to our ultimate demise. So what am I doing everyday? Following these motions, doing work, listening to music, blogging, thinking of food, get happy, get sad, make a mess, make amends. It's like a boat caught in the doldrums going up and down in the tide but going nowhere until the salt rots the wood and the seagulls ravage my impoverished corpse. Am I just a victim of a cyclic world? I wish to sail to new seas, to charter my course through this vast ocean!

Someone Give Me A Paddle

One Step Too Far

2007-02-04T22:17:00.000Z

I made a horrible mistake of taking a bad joke too far, probably destroying whatever friendship I had in the process. Always reminds me of just how selfish and self-destructive I am, that I get myself in over my head.

To Yuan Jing, I'm really sorry, and if you can't forgive me, I understand. If I could make any reparations at all I would, if not, yup.

Our toilet has been destroyed. Jonny and Clarkey, in their drunken stupor, decided it would be fun to stand on top of the box shaped thing in the toilet. I would say it is still a mighty impressive feat, as the whole thing ripped off the wall and fractured the large main, causing a tidal surge of water that is still drying up outside in the hallway. Infact, it's so waterlogged, that it started leaking in the common room (which is directly below the toilet). Calling the subwarden and the warden herself, they managed to turn off the water mains, resulting in us having nearly no water whatsoever in the morning; I managed to eke out a tiny trickle to wet my toothbrush enough so that I could brush my teeth and not kill Nat when I talked with her. Nat's place has real strong water pressure as well strangely enough, quite abit stronger than I am used to.

Apparently I didn't check properly when I was checking out the Family Law textbooks from the Edward Boyle Library, so much so that I actually have 2 casebooks! I've finished my contract though so I'm on schedule.

I'm such an ugly person, I hate myself at times. I try to hide behind so many façades and walls but I know that deep down inside me is some nazi-driven quasi-satanic entity waiting to boil over to the surface. I try my best but that's rarely ever good enough. In the end, I always just end up hurting everyone around me; perhaps that's why I've always been doomed to such a lonely existence. Perhaps it's better for me to stay in the abyss, where I can't make anymore mistakes.

I had to go and destroy a perfect week.

Gathering The Pieces

2007-02-03T15:21:00.000Z

The new The Cooper Temple Clause album comes as a massive shock to anyone who listened to only their first album. From the brusque, rash, electronic driven, metal influenced prog escapade, we get an album that comes across as a pretty tame and commercialised indie-rock album laced with the teeniest hints of metal. Tracks like Connect and Waiting Game highlight this drastic shift the most, sounding more like songs one would expect from Deathcab For Cutie or Snow Patrol than the former prog-revivalists. It is a tightly wound album, slickly produced with only one real stinker (or perhaps only one good song, depending on which camp you will inherently be drawn into). I for one cannot help but love this album for what it is, and if it were done by some other up and coming band, would be hailed as a work of genius, but coming from the CTC, a tad tame, seeking remorse in the fact that they have proved their worth as artist by doing pretty much any style with flair. 8/10

Well, I've already expounded my love for the new Shins album, I'll just tell you to buy it. Now. Go. 9/10

I'm busy trying to arrange a schedule so that I can get everything running smoothly. I did a couple runs through Misrepresentation and I think I have grasped most of what has been taught this past week, I just have to fit in time to read up on this Family Law stuff so that I will not feel like such a useless fool on Tuesday. It should be fine, and I think I'm slowly easing my way back into that groove known as "school time", where work comes before play and sleep is the most important thing on Earth. Truth be told I suffered from a slight panic attack just now when I opened my Contract folder and found that I had taken out several of the sheets and didn't put them back where they were supposed to be, resulting in me now having 4 pages of lecture notes that apparently do not seem to belong anywhere. Urgh.

I need to start improving my writing, my boisterous writing style has sublimed into something so wholly utilitarian, it could read like a European Statute; not to be confused with the British variety, which is wholly complex and more akin to a dog chasing it's own tail. Reading the Surreal World made me realise just how much my english has deteriorated... in England! My vocabulary is being rewritten, and soon, I'll be "headin to pewb" and looking at "zeh-brahs". Alas, the court of today is no longer the bastion of English flourishes; the nuance of language lost to the need for speed, efficiency and efficacy.

Alas, I need my beauty sleep. How fitting, the Postal Service are singing, "Don't Wake Me I Plan On Sleeping In" over and over.

Birthday Week Highlights

2007-02-03T00:56:00.000Z

What can I say, it has been the roughest, most intense week I've had since Freshers and I must say a big THANK YOU to everyone that made it possible! First and foremost to that asshat Nicklaus Wong, my brother, for always finding ways to get himself into trouble. To Charlie and Amanda and Lizzie and Angharad for dressing up and following me through the Pub Crawl. To all the Singaporeans, for just now and for everyone who sent me a birthday message.

In anycase, a man of my age cannot settle just for a single birthday party. No, we have to go all the, and only a birthday week will suffice!

On the first day, straight after his tedious voyage from London to Leeds, we decided to have an easy night in. That meant only one thing. Black Hawk Down Drinking Game. Here are the rules soldier! 1. You are Ewan McGregor, I am Josh Hartnett! 2. Everytime either of these two get shot at or shoot, drink! 3. If anyone dies, drink! 4. If a Black Hawk goes down, you better bottoms up soldier!

yeah so... we weren't the most successful people out there. In our defence, by the halfway mark of the movie, people were dying left right and center. But still, it was early and we couldn't let our high go to waste so we ended up....

yup we started singing the night away, howling out loud as my housemates watched in complete bemusement as the usually quiet Nicholas started getting back into the groove only seen during the first weeks. Oh yes.

We went to bed early though, seeing as how I had an early lecture the next morning. The next day was a much better game though. We pre-gamed ourselves to L4YER CAKE, a good movie in it's own right, though abit trite in my opinion compared to Snatch. We did ourselves proud though, by finishing the remaining 14 bottles of Strongbow we bought.

Tuesday, as we all know, is The Tunnel Club at Mine, a wicked night of indie-rock, pop and tronica! We went in introducing ourselves as twin brothers and by the end of the night were making ourselves familiar with several groups of people, leaving the club being called "The Chinese Twins!" much to Nick's annoyance.

We decided not to have a heavy night the next day and instead make plans to go out with the fellow Singaporeans. Going on to try and increase his infamy he:-

1. Nearly got into a fight with 2 scousers
2. Nearly got into a fight with my fellow Singaporean
3. Made bad chat with Elizabeth
4. Made even worse chat with Natalie; I'm serious, it was really some of the worst shit I've ever heard spewed from his mouth, and with Nick Wong, that's quite a feat.
5. Got shushed by my housemate.

But thursday was the big big big night. Oh yes, oh yes. We got ourselves royally pissed as we set ourselves up for the Otley Run.

Yup, the theme was N and I went as a*gasp* a NERD!

So here is the nerd pimped flanked by his 2 Nuns and his little nymph

We were joined on our way by "Dave", apparently Liz knows so many Laura, she gets a new name!

By the time we reached library, the crowd had swelled and swelled, Clarkey put on an extra good effort with the pink skirt. He really looked flashy

So yep yep yep, it was a crazy night, where I nearly won against a fully sober man in a game of pool!

The morning after was not a pretty sight though. After having multiple dreams of certain people, I woke up with what felt like a gigantic saw slowly filing its way deeper and deeper into my brain. Luckily it was just a bad headache, clearing up somewhere in the later half of the morning.

After seeing Nick off, I went to Akbars to celebrate my birthday with my closest pals.

The Naans are gigantic in size!!! Look at it! It's almost as big as me!

We got tons and tons of it, infact, we couldn't finish it all! They were just sooo much!

So yes, Charlie got me this cake, bless her :)

Haha, all my great mates :)

The Shins are changing my life. Literally. Listening to them reminds me of the first time that I listened through Transantlanticism. This is indie-rock the way it is supposed to be. Going through the broad spectrum of emotions, never sticking to a single colour, always throwing up something new but always always sticking to well worn subjects at heart.

I wish this would never end though, all this, I've always been a watcher, my inner peace resting more with seeing everyone around me enjoying themselves. Thank you so much for this day, for this week and for these months. I know I'm quite a bit to put up with, what with my eccentricities and tidal wave of emotions.

I'll blog more about it later, now it's almost half to 3 and I need my beauty sleep if I am to get any work done tomorrow. All good things must end though, and I seriously need to get down to some studying. Till tomorrow!

I know this is my 100th post, but I'm sorry, I got too lazy to get around to that videoblog thing, so instead, I'll give you more of what you love to see! Pics and more bemoaning from me, lost in my own weird little world where I think way too much.

The Big Double Twos

2007-01-25T23:34:00.000Z

It's coming up already. Man, I really feel old, especially knowing how much I have changed over the past years. For all those not in the know. This is my "evolution".

I still don't really know why I keep this picture, but it makes one hell of a conversation piece. As you can imagine, if you go to my house, you'll hardly find any photos of me from this era. Lol. Anyway, this was taken in J1.

This was taken at the start of J2, it was my first cosplay (I've never dressed up for it though, and my interest soon diverged into the area of rock). I'm 100% gonna get feedback for this picture though, but still, don't you find it kinda nostalgic? How simple and naive we were back then. How we hurt each other...

This was taken about 4 months after that picture above. By now I've gone from an 85 to a 63.

Infact this would continue, till I reached about 57kg. Joyce here thought I was suffering from anorexia or bullimia or any one of those disgusting eating disorders. Oh how we hurt each other as well. At least you sound happy now. Hmmm...

This is when I was at my most fittest. You can see the sixpack.

Yeah but this is army, and slowly but surely......

You start to put on the pounds......

Here you can see my propensity to yo-yo. I gain and lose weight like shit.

But alas, all the nasi lemak in 1st Signal made me develop my gut again.

But nothing living overseas and a complete makeover cannot fix.

So yeah, 22years old and I've become a weight watching, alcohol drinking, emotionally drained, hormonally charged hedonistic fag.

It's a wonderful life.

This blog is 10 months old! I can hardly believe it's been over 2yrs since the Surreal World. It'll be awhile more till I retire Unadultered Whimses; perhaps one day I'll head over to the greener pastures of Wordpress, heck, Houfu's got that small little preview clips for URLs that I am very fascinated with. I should be quite glad that I did keep to my promise so far, to not use this blog as a weapon against my friends. Perhaps it's a sign that I have grown up, that I hardly hold any grudges against anybody, and infact, I've ironed out most of my grievances with certain people recently. It feels so good to get rid of those extra burdens.

Nie Genug (Never Enough)

2007-01-25T01:18:00.000Z

I still love german pop, it sure as hell beats listening to Rammstein; though you can never get tired of seeing a bunch of overly tattooed and pierced idiots eating flames. It's right up there along with my other secret pop fetishes.

It's getting brighter.

Prague Part 1

2007-01-24T08:58:00.000Z

Prague, the untouched city. What more can be said about it that hasn't been said before? Romantic? Check. Beautiful? Check. Cheap? Double Check.

On a shoestring budget of 70 quid, I lived like a king. We ate restaurant meals every single day, got lost around old town. Climbed the long flight of stairs leading to the castle, which didn't really contain anything much. Went to the top of the Astronomical Clock to see a breathtaking view of Prague in the dusk. It was just so fun being around my friends, laughing and laughing all the time. I will never ever forget Prague. I'll post more indepth later, but for now, here are some widescreen shots for you to gaze upon.

This is the main street leading up to the Prague Museum. It's built in a decidedly commmunist fashion, very wide and underused.

Picture of the museum, from left to right. Clement, Me, Manhon, Sarah, Ying Ying and Teckie

Overlooking us is the beautiful Prague Castle, the largest old world castle in the world.

Here you can see Charles Bridge and the castle

The most natural and impromptu shot. They didn't even know they were lined up like that. I know I know, I'm just a fantastic photographer who knows how to capture the moment.

A view from the top of the astronomical clock.

Another view with the evening sun.

Crossing Charles Bridge, heading towards Prague Castle.

On the top of the plateau that Prague Castle is built on. The view is breathtaking form up here.

This is St. Vitius Cathedral, built in true gothic style. It resembles the Cathedral in Cologne quite abit, but its a pale comparison at best.

Aaron Kok Jun Fa : 1984-2006

2007-01-23T08:19:00.000Z

It reinforces my view in ying and yang. The world does go in a cycle, and now I'm in an all new trough.

I dunno whether I can see the body in Manchester, and it's impossible to attend the funeral once the ashes are flown back to Singapore, but I guess I'll just do the best that I can from here. An eulogy for a good man non-deserving of this fate, being found in a gutter, 30,000miles from home.

Aaron Kok was my officer at 1st Signal Battalion. Coming straight from a more mixed camp, he was the first person to talk to me about the hardships of working in a hokkien-peng camp. He didn't stay for that long, arriving quite late in his cycle, he led us for 4 months before leaving but I will never forget the times we had together.

Perhaps the most memorable event I can think about is the time that he led us out for an 8km run around the heart of Bukit Gombak. He was trying to prepare me to get IPPT Gold (even though that would prove impossible) and when we set off on this arduous journey, I didn't think we could make it. Halfway through I already started to falter, let alone after 6km, but I will always remember him pushing me along, encouraging me, telling me that I could make it. Miraculously I did, and I felt much better about myself than I ever did before.

He was always one that stood with his men. He covered for us during our faults, and he used wisdom instead of punishment to get his message across. He always had a peculiar way of half shouting and craning his neck when talking, so much that he looked like a strangled chicken at times, but he always got his point across.

I remember his deliberations on whether to study in UK or Australia, before he got his scholarship to study in Manchester. We were planning to meet up sometime last year, but we never got round to it.

Aaron Kok Jun Fa was a well respected man, he was not only my officer, he was my friend and my brother. I salute you.

Kyo - Derniere Danse

2007-01-18T00:27:00.000Z

Translation

I did not want to just copy and paste the english translation because it detracts from the beauty of this song. So bittersweet, so bittersweet.

The Neubronners

2007-01-17T00:13:00.000Z

"The Neubronners' are not easy people to live with".

The words ring so true, its saddening. I hadn't the heart to tell them about the fall out. Great Aunt Ruth has such dear memories of Eddy-boy. Seeing their pictures shot pangs through my heart. They looked so happy together. It's the way I have been raised, raised to believe in an ideal world where such issues happen only to other, non-christian families; that we were somehow excluded from these worldly issues simply because of who we are.

Hearing the recountings of our family made me realise that it's not our big noses, bushy eyebrows or square jaws that make us Neubronners. It's our multitude of faults, found in every single Neubronner. Our stubborness, our prejudices, our hypocracy. Those are the things that make you a Neubronner, that leads to our ultimate destruction.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a Neubronner (there, my weakness becoming all so apparent). I love my 700yr history. Therese has been the only person so far to really point this out, my false pretense, way way back in JC2. I still remember it clear as day; but perhaps back then I was a slightly different beast, clamouring for as much pride as possible in my shattered self esteem as I waged war with my obesity.

Yet all that has changed now and my life is still in the decrepit state that it was in 5yrs ago; heck it was better last time when I had some recoursive interest. Perhaps the best explanation is that despite what all I hype myself to be, I really am just a heartless, thoughtless, emotionless machination and that I'll never grasp what I seek because of these inherent flaws in me.

In the third month of the year twenty hundred and five of our Lord Anno Domini, after a week in the feverish jungles of Tekong, after digging trenches from 11pm to 4am, from doing combat drills all day, and route marches at night, Nicholas Gerald Neubronner came back to his bunk and wept himself to sleep. He did not know whether he was weeping for relief or out of sheer sadness, but that was the day he told himself that he was not cut out for this life, a life in the jungles of South East Asia with a rifle in his hand, three stripes on his arm, leading a ragtag bunch of conscripts in field exercises. Ultimately it just shows an example of just how weak I am, that when the pressure is too much, I crack. (I still survived army though, how I did that, could only be God's doing).

They say that you seek what you do not have. I'm searching for my Dorothy, to lead me in my quest for a Brain, A Heart, Courage and perhaps most of all, a way out.

From The Deep End of East Anglia

2007-01-16T10:34:00.000Z

No they are not from East Anglia, far from it.

Some thoughts have been circulating through my mind in the past few days, will blog about them later. Windows just irks me completely.

Another Short Holiday

2007-01-14T06:52:00.000Z

I know it's kinda late, but oh well, we celebrated Zuthur's birthday on the day after I got back.

Technically I was supposed to get around to doing some reading into Privity, as the girl; yes I mean girl, she was at the most 25 or 26, that lectured on the topic was a complete nutter. However, seizing the opportunity, I've decided to head down to Norwich for a short little vacation before my actual vacation to Prague. Seeing Aunt Ruth will do me some good, not to mention I've heard that Norwich is quite a nice tourist attraction. At least I'll have a good reason to whip out my camera and take pictures; as I'm actually a tourist, and won't feel as weird as I did the day before in my failed attempt to take pictures of the sights of Leeds.

The exam was pretty fine. The Court of Appeal question was a godsend, though that would mean that allot of people would have written very similar essays to me. Sadly, my answer to Statutory Interpretation wasn't really up to snuff in my books. I think I'll at least get a third though. My essay on the other hand, is either brilliant or a complete bomb. Just whiling the days until I get that back.

It's a constant state of mind that I feel quite different, like a self imposed apartheid. I've suffered with this for a very long time, until I think nothing of it unless someone brings it up, or faced in a situation where this becomes blatantly obvious. Luckily it hasn't been brought out in full force over here, unlike the good old days with Holly and her possé.

My birthday is coming up and I was thinking of finally having an Otley Run. Here's how the discussion went.

Me - We should do an Otley for my birthday!
Charlie - That'd be awesome! I haven't taken part in any yet (Amanda murmurs same reply)
C - But what should we dress up as?
Me - How about the letter N for me?
C - Yeah! We can go as Nurses
Amanda - Oh we can go as "Nomes"!
C - No Amanda, Gnomes is spelt with a G.
A - Oh... I don't know how I got onto this course really.

Haha, bless her, she's up at Birm I think, being best bridesmaid. How fun is that?